


The Ever-Tangled Web

by TheMatraPseudoBiblica



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Narrative, Sad, hermaphrodite, hybrid kids, ignoring vital info and i don't care, twins maybe, who's the bad guy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-10
Updated: 2015-02-10
Packaged: 2018-03-11 13:34:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3328382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMatraPseudoBiblica/pseuds/TheMatraPseudoBiblica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thrawn and Palpatine were married. What happened? A captured grand Admiral tells his own story. Warnings: weirdness, Hermaphroditic Chiss, and weirdness. Did I mention the weirdness?</p><p>A sweet little love story that borders on the ridiculous sometimes and probably fails at its objective.</p><p>I tried to give a lot of transition from a romantic, sweetheart to the most feared Admiral in the Fleet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Ever-Tangled Web

Grand Admiral Thrawn was captured on accident when he was traveling in a small, six-man vessel to rendezvous with his fleet.  
Then again, it may have been on purpose. One could never tell with that one. It was decided that an ordinary prison was not secure enough to hold the tactical genius, and he was placed in the Jedi Temple’s detention center. After his capture, the war with the Empire slowly began dying out and winding down.  
Thrawn was a docile prisoner. He did not make unreasonable demands and made no attempt to escape from his prison. Perhaps the only complaint he had was that he was bored. As the weeks passed and it was proved that Thrawn was not a war criminal, he was granted one small luxury after another to occupy his time. Captain Pelleaon made several attempts to negotiate for Thrawn’s release, but any and all offers were refused. Still, Pelleaon did send what few personal possessions that Thrawn owned in the hands of Republic diplomats. After extensive scans, Master Skywalker himself finally gave the items to Thrawn. There were two pieces of artwork, one a copy in plaster of an Alderaanian statue the other a glowing, abstract twist of glass, several suits of clothes both civilian and uniform, a carved chess set of ivory and black marble, a floor rug from the palace of Alderaan, a pot containing a Dathomir rose, a shelf of books, a Chitauri tea set with several unopened packages of Jasmine Green Tea pearls from Naboo that Pelleaon must have used the black market to acquire, a bud vase made of a metal called Nambe, a bedside lamp made of elaborately patterned stained glass, and a jewel box with a small sculpture of precious metal on a chain.  
Luke wondered about the sculpture pendant. As the weeks had passed, he had decided to try to become friendly with the Admiral, and the items were a conversation starter.  
“So, Pelleaon has not forgotten me,” Thrawn said. “I see that he did remember my tea.”  
“You like tea?” Luke had asked.  
“If you spoke to your Miss Jade, she would probably tell you that it has always been a beverage of choice.” Thrawn opened the jewel box and took out the oddly formed pendant.   
“What is that supposed to be?”  
Thrawn’s head stiffened and he closed the jewel box with a snap. “Nothing.”  
“Was it a gift?”  
“Yes,” Thrawn’s answer was cuttingly tart.  
Luke didn’t pursue the subject. He sensed it would be unwise. “Have you ever been to Alderaan?”  
“Once. It was a beautiful planet. In a way, I still cannot believe that Tarkin destroyed it.”  
“You didn’t approve?”  
Thrawn snorted. “That is no secret, Master Skywalker. I never approved of super-weapons. They were, and still are, a waste of time and money.”  
Luke agreed and asked about the rose.   
“It was a gift from the governor of that system. I enjoy plants as well as art. This rose is one of the few beautiful things to be found on the Witches’ planet.”  
Luke remembered his own excursion to Dathomir and agreed again. “Where is that second statue from?”  
“A world of vicious and brutal people. I had to destroy them.”  
At that, Luke was taken aback. “Destroy them how?”  
“By using their own weapons against them.” His red eyes became distant. “It was not pleasant…”  
At that moment, Luke was contacted by Leia and he had to leave. 

Thrawn lived quietly in the bowels of the temple. Every morning he exercised by doing floor and wall exercises and by practicing his martial arts, every afternoon he made a pot of tea and settled into his chair to read, and every night he took a shower and went to bed. There were cameras in each of his two main rooms and a regular scanner in his bathroom.  
Sometimes, Luke came in and interrupted Thrawn’s routine. Whenever he did this, Thrawn would interrupt whatever he was doing and add a second cup to his tea tray. The Chitauri cups had no handles and could become very hot, but Thrawn didn’t seem to be bothered by it. He seemed pleased by the casual interruption, and though he would not speak of current Imperial information, he was an excellent conversationalist on many topics.  
Finally, Luke broached a topic that he had been curious about for some time. “Why did you join the Emperor’s fleet?”  
“Revenge,” Thrawn answered simply.  
“Against who?”  
“I would rather not answer.” Thrawn’s finger was tracing the rim of his teacup in a fashion that told Luke not to question him further.  
“I noticed that your tea is getting low. Do you want me to get some more for you?”  
“It would be nice,” Thrawn seemed relieved. Luke concluded that he had not wanted to make the request himself.  
“Do you have a preferred brand?”  
“No, I have never been able to taste any difference, though the one who introduced me to the drink believed that Naboo leaves were superior to all others,” Thrawn shrugged apologetically. “I have not made a comparison, though the Imperial acquisitioners’s brand is decidedly inferior.”  
Luke raised a brow. “Naboo? The Emperor’s homeworld?”  
Thrawn’s voice became very quiet. “The Emperor is not the only person who ever came from Naboo.”  
“No,” Luke hastily agreed. “My mother was from that planet as well.”  
“I thought that you were from Tatooine.”  
“My father was, but my mother was a Senator from Naboo.”  
Thrawn choked on the sip of tea he had been taking and raised his head slowly. “Senator Amidala?”  
“Yes, did you know her?”  
Thrawn dropped his eyes and began running a finger over the rim of his cup again. “I was told that she was a fine lady.”  
“My father wasn’t so pleasant and you definitely knew him, Darth Vader.”  
“Also known as Anakin Skywalker. Yes, I know.”  
“You know?”  
“The Emperor told me and it would not have been hard to figure out, regardless.”  
Luke watched Thrawn’s finger moving over the rim of his cup. He did not want to speak of many things, it seemed. “I should be going soon. I’ll see about the tea. Until tomorrow?”  
“Until tomorrow.”  
Luke went out of Thrawn’s cell and nodded to the guard.

The closest teashop that supplied tea from Naboo was in a midlevel section of the Kailani Spires. The lady behind the counter measured out a pound of the tea pearls and tied a six-looped bow of fancy, ivory silk ribbon around the pack. “You’re not a regular customer, Master Skywalker.”  
“No,” Luke waited until she rang up the cost of the tea.  
“May I recommend a tea that is less difficult to brew for a start? Jasmine Green Tea Pearls can be finicky. They must be brewed for no longer than three minutes.”  
Luke nodded. “I have been told.” Indeed, Thrawn had been quite free in his instructions concerning the tea the one time Luke had attempted to help him brew it. On that particular day, Thrawn had suffered a wrist sprain during his exercise. Grimacing at the memory, Luke reflected that Thrawn would probably never ask him for help again, wrist sprain or no wrist sprain.  
“Ah, well. I won’t tell you your business.”  
Luke paid the woman and took the tea with him as he left the shop.

Thrawn was reading when Luke brought the tea in with him. The moment he saw the package, he leapt to his feet and whispered, “Get that out of here.”  
Luke stopped. “It’s tea, Thrawn.”  
Thrawn’s voice was hard and reptilian. “I know perfectly well what it is. Get it out of here!”  
Luke backed up. “What-“  
Thrawn sounded beyond reason. “GET THAT OUT OF HERE!” His statement was punctuated by the book he was holding flying with considerable force at Luke’s head. Luke ducked and scrambled for the door. Behind him, the plaster cast of the Alderaanian statue tipped and shattered on the hard floor.

Luke waited for three days to attempt to approach Thrawn again. During that period, he had had the guards give Thrawn a tube of strong adhesive so that he could repair his statue. Leaving the package outside with the guard, he went in to attempt to find out what had gone wrong.  
Thrawn had assembled the skirt of the mother. The cast had originally been of a mother holding a stillborn baby wrapped in a blanket close to her. It had been carved for a clinic that cared for mothers who had miscarried children before. Currently, Thrawn was assembling one of the arms. “I thought you were my friend,” there was something bitter and tragic in Thrawn’s voice. “Why did you do that to me?”  
Luke sighed. “I am your friend, and I didn’t mean any harm. What did I do?”  
Thrawn turned and studied Luke’s face. A sudden spasm of relief colored his eyes. “It appears that you did nothing. I owe you an apology.”  
Luke shrugged. “Forget about it. Do you still want the tea?”  
Thrawn stood. “Yes, but would you be so kind as to take off the ribbon first?”  
“Sure,” Luke went out and brought the package, sans ribbon, in. “What was it about the ribbon that you didn’t like?”  
Thrawn sighed as he put the tea away. “I thought you were mocking me. I suppose that the ribbon comes with the package?”  
“Yes.”  
“I should have known.” Thrawn turned back to his work on the statue. “Where did you get the tea?”  
“From a mid-level shop in the Kailani Spires.”  
Thrawn turned back to Luke and stared. “I have never heard of this shop.”  
“How did you recognize the ribbon then?”  
Thrawn touched his lower lip as he said, almost to himself. “He must have bought it from there.” Then, out loud, “I bought my tea from a different shop, one much closer to the Imperial Palace, where I had apartments. The person who introduced me to the tea must have bought it from this other shop.”  
“Who was he?”  
Thrawn shook his head. “I would rather not say.”  
Luke changed the subject. “You had apartments in the palace?”  
“Yes, a small set of rooms, but aside from the Imperial quarters, it was the one with the best view.”  
“You play the piano then?” Luke remembered the apartments Thrawn was speaking of well. He had been supervising the storage of most of the items in it since they were unclaimed.   
Thrawn lifted his head and a new light shone in his eyes. “Yes. Was my instrument destroyed? It is made of cherry wood covered with inlaid shell and gold with a bench made to match.” He licked his lips. “One of my greatest extravagances was that piano, but it plays so well.”  
Luke shook his head. “It’s in storage. I saw to its packing myself. We were looking for dark artifacts.”  
Thrawn was practically trembling. “And the music? My compositions? Where are they?”  
“With the piano, I presume, or in a folder somewhere. You wrote music?”  
“Yes. Many different pieces. I was taught to by…” he trailed off into silence.  
The same person who introduced you to Jasmine Green tea pearls? Luke finished in his head. “I think I can get it back. It was not sold. I am certain. I can probably get everything that was in those apartments back. Well… There was one statue that was stolen and was returned to its owner.”  
“The Chitauri Angel?”  
“Yes, I believe it was.”  
Thrawn was silent. “It was a gift from the Emperor. I did not know it was stolen.”  
“You received gifts from the Emperor?”  
“I was one of his best servants at one time, though in my own way.” Thrawn was silent for a long moment. “I have been given much to think about, Master Skywalker. I would request that you leave me for the time being.”  
Luke made for the door. “You can call me, Luke, you know.”  
Thrawn nodded. “It is hard for me to remember first names as much as last names, Luke, but I will try.”

It was a month before Luke finally managed to secure permission to bring Thrawn’s possessions back to him. While they were being installed, Luke gave orders for Thrawn to be given a tour, under guard of course, of the Jedi Temple. Leia volunteered and Han decided to accompany her.  
Luke oversaw the installment of the items. There was the piano and bench, two chairs, a writing desk with a chair, a bookshelf filled with volumes, another tea set, this time it was much larger than the Chitauri one and made in the Courascanti style of silver instead of ceramic however there were also many teacups that were packed with this set which did not seem to belong to it, an empty birdcage, several paintings, and an inlaid chest that Luke had not seen before. “Where was this found?”  
One of the workmen nodded to the chest. “Behind a panel. Someone went back to the apartments to check and see if we missed anything. It must belong to red-eyes, it looks like it matches the piano.”  
The chest did indeed match the piano. It was made of cherry wood and inlaid with the same materials, but it was inlaid differently. Still, Luke doubted that Thrawn would hesitate to inform him if something had been brought that did not belong to him. “Go ahead and put it at the foot of the bed. Is there anything in it?”  
“It’s locked and scans show nothing, Master Skywalker. We don’t want to hurt it.”  
“Perhaps Thrawn has the key.” Luke thought of the abstract pendant in the jewel box.

Leia was enjoying the tour as much as her visitor. The Jedi Temple was a beautiful place. “And this is the kitchen garden. Herbs of various types are grown here along with vegetables. There are varieties of fruit trees in the meditation gardens along with flowers. The largest of the meditation rooms is The Room of a Thousand Fountains, which we should reach soon.”  
“Fascinating. I was informed by the Emperor that the Jedi temple could function as an almost self-sufficient fortress,” Thrawn appreciated the functional beauty of it.  
“Yeah, just another reason not to mess with it.” Han was less happy about Thrawn than Leia was.  
The Room of a Thousand Fountains always took Leia’s breath away, but she had no idea that it would have any grand effect on Thrawn. His reaction was both encouraging and uplifting in and of itself. Gazing around with his jaw loose, Thrawn was especially drawn to the pools where children were playing. It was hard to read the Chiss, but Leia thought she sensed both melancholy and…longing from him.   
“Do you like children?” she asked.  
Thrawn nodded slightly, but his mind closed further. “I always have liked children. Especially young ones.”  
Leia gave him an encouraging smile. “I do too. They always get into trouble.”  
“And they hang onto my boots,” Han grouched.  
“Don’t be so grumpy, Han.”  
“I’ll be as grumpy as I like, Your Worship.”  
Thrawn raised a brow, but said nothing.

Thrawn was returned to his quarters after watching the sun set from the old Council chamber.  
Luke greeted Thrawn. “Did you enjoy the tour?”  
“Yes, I did. This temple is a beautiful place.” Thrawn ran his fingers over the piano’s case. “I am glad that you have returned this. My playing has become rusty.”  
“I would love to hear you sometime.”  
“Perhaps I can give a concert for your people sometime. I was very good once.” Thrawn touched the birdcage. “I see you missed nothing.”  
Luke looked at the cage. “What happened to your bird?”  
Thrawn sighed. “I set it free. It was a wild songbird from Naboo called a Weeb, and I allowed it to wander as it would. I found it as an abandoned nestling after a snake had eaten its mother and siblings. When I went to release it the first time, it would not go far, but stayed in my garden, and then it smuggled itself back in when the other birds were leaving. So, he became my friend and I kept the cage as a sort of home for him when he was visiting me. Then, one day, he flew away and never came back to the cage.”  
“What do you think happened to it?”  
“I would like to believe that he found a lady friend, but he was an old bird.”  
Luke shrugged. “Thrawn, there was something that I had never seen before as well. It’s in here.” Luke led the way into the bedroom.  
Thrawn’s eyes fell on the chest and he clutched at his heart. Staggering back, he sank into one of his chairs. “That was hidden.”  
“I know,” Luke confusedly answered. “It was found behind a panel.”  
“Take it and destroy it.” Thrawn seemed on the point of a fit. “That should have stayed hidden.”  
Luke used the Force to carry the chest out and to his own room. If Thrawn reacted so badly to the chest… Luke did not wish to think ill of him, but he had to know.

Luke did not wish to damage the beautiful chest and looking for some way to open it without the key gave him an excuse to put opening it off. After researching the lock, he found that it would be simple to use a pick to open it.  
Inside the chest, there were many surprises. There was a light grayish tan Chitauri wedding gown embroidered with white pearls of varying sizes on top along with slippers to match. Luke picked it up and laid it aside. Beneath the gown, there was a sheaf of small notes on pale blue paper in tiny lilac envelopes. The fronts of the envelopes were decorated with gold embossing and all of the tiny papers had a seal in the corner embossed in the same ink as the outside of the envelope. All were lightly scented with a floral blend that Luke recognized as lilac mixed with rose and jasmine. They were written in a flowing script marked by tiny loops and curls. The first was innocuous enough:  
Join me at the Chateau for dinner. –P  
However, the second had a decidedly sensuous air:  
I believe we would both appreciate a vacation. Buy a new outfit for a cruise, darling, and surprise me. You know exactly what I like. And prepare for a bit of ‘light exercise.’ –P  
Well, Thrawn had never seemed to be one to enjoy the company of his own sex and these letters were distinctly masculine sounding, but what did Luke really know of his love life? After the love letters, there was a statuette. A delicate figure of glass, wrapped with care, which was shaped in the figure of a sleeping baby. The statuette had a hollow middle and was filled with what looked like ashes. Under this, was a baby gown made of soft cotton with tucks and frills of the same material and an embroidered baby blanket wrapped around a baby’s wardrobe. Then, there was a large, black marble jewel chest that required a key, conveniently in the lock, filled with various well-set precious stones in every shade of the rainbow and many pieces in simple precious metals. Luke allowed his fingers to wander over the drawers and cabinets as he opened all of them. Most of the padding and fittings had been removed to make everything fit and each had its own clear plastic bag to protect it. Much of the chest after that was filled with clothes of rich materials in labeled vacuum sealed bags; shimmersilk capes, velvet gowns, bright Zeyd boleros, an iridescent lame swimsuit, gossamer scarves, satin skirts, and so many more of various combinations that Luke was shocked that it had all fit, vacuum bags or not. Still, the greatest surprise was waiting.  
When Luke finally made it to the bottom of the chest, he found a holographic projector, a book bound in red leather, many small, six-looped bows of the same type that had inspired Thrawn’s violent reaction earlier and in the same ribbon, and another jewel box with a pair of aurodium wedding bands, as well as an engagement ring. The wedding bands were simple enough, but the engagement ring was a twisted and braided affair set with an ice-clear gem that must have had thousands of facets.  
Luke opened the book. It was a journal. Inside the cover, there were words written in gold ink in the same hand as the scented notes:  
Married. August second, year 9984:  
Thrawn and Palpatine  
Love Conquers All  
Luke’s mouth dropped open. Palpatine? Emperor Palpatine? It had to be. He hastily turned the page and read on.  
My beautiful wife and I have arrived on Naboo quite safely. I must say, Thrawn looks more radiant by the moment and her skin is fairly glowing. I myself am feeling a bit sick. The journey did not agree with my stomach.   
Convergence is as lovely as I remember, but Thrawn has banished me to the upper floors so that she can prepare a surprise meal for us. Perhaps later we will go out on the lake in my gondola, if it is still seaworthy. The sunset will turn the waters gold and set them aflame. And for a time, all will be perfect. The troubles which concern me on Coruscant can surely wait for a month.

Luke closed the book. He had to speak to Thrawn about this, but then again, perhaps it was not that Palpatine. Luke picked up the holo-projector and turned it on. The first picture was of Emperor Palpatine when he had been Supreme Chancellor, but the person wearing the Chitauri wedding gown beside him… it could not be Thrawn.  
The woman in the picture was pale as milk with a slight, frail figure and shy red-glowing eyes. Luke placed the picture where Artoo could see it and asked, “Artoo, can you do a data search on this?”  
Artoo beeped and played a holographic display:

Thrawn, a young Chitauri model, was married to Supreme Chancellor Palpatine today. Amid a shower of flower petals, the happy couple has gone to their honeymoon on Naboo. Hopefully, Enquirer can learn more details when they come back…

Luke shook his head. “That’s impossible. Her name is Thrawn… Do a search on that Thrawn.”  
Artoo beeped again and began showing various pictures. All were of that same woman, but many were modeling different clothes and accessories.   
“It’s impossible. Do we know anything about the Chiss species beyond the obvious?”  
Artoo chirped and began running lines of data past Luke’s eyes. “Wait, stop there.” Luke read a single word aloud. “Hermaphrodite. Do you suppose that they could also have a shape-changing ability?”  
Artoo’s beep had a clear ring of ‘don’t ask me’ in it.  
Luke sighed. “I should ask Thrawn. I’ll go tomorrow, it’s too late tonight.” Luke rearranged the items in the chest and sighed again. “I should sleep.”

Luke gathered a few of the smallest items in the chest into a bag and he came down to Thrawn’s rooms before Thrawn had even finished breakfast. Inquisitively looking up from the tray of pancakes, Thrawn finished chewing before he spoke, “Is something wrong?”  
Luke held up the holo-projector and clicked it on to the wedding photo. “Please explain.”  
Thrawn’s reaction was nothing like his previous reactions. His shoulders sagged and he pushed the tray of pancakes away. “What is there to explain? It’s true.”  
Luke pointed. “How can this possibly be you?”  
“Chiss have the ability to metamorphosize between a feminine and masculine form in preparation for childbirth. It is a simple thing to trick one’s body into believing that one is pregnant by eating a substance that you call Cacao Butter. The cycles and production of gametes continue though. I realized that my feminine form would garner more sympathy among your people, and since there was an amount of the substance in my proximity, I did as you see,” Thrawn straightened himself. “I did not do wrong, though I did lie about my species identity.”  
Luke clicked off the projector. “And he broke your heart when he revealed what he was?”  
“No,” Thrawn answered softly. “My husband never broke my heart.”  
Luke was about to ask another question, but Thrawn cut him off with an upraised hand. “You must understand, Luke. The man in the picture is not who you think he is.” Thrawn stared him directly in the eyes, utter honesty shining through. “That is the Emperor’s twin brother.”  
Luke would have laughed. He would have rolled on the floor convulsing. But he saw that Thrawn truly believed his own ridiculous statement. He must be deluded, or lied to.

Thrawn smiled softly and sadly. “I understand your doubts, but it is true.”  
“There were no Palpatine twins.”  
“One was taken by Sidious’ master at birth, and the memory of him was taken from those who knew.”  
“How did he remain hidden?”  
“It is simple to hide when one is a Sith Lord, and especially when one’s master is rich.”  
“How were they swapped?”  
Thrawn’s eyes became pained. “I do not wish to speak of it.”  
“Did you know?”  
“The exchange was made before my eyes.” Thrawn folded his hands in his lap. “Perhaps I should tell you the entire story, but before I do, will you bring the rest of my Hope Chest here? It is painful for me to look at it, but most of the items will help to illustrate the story.”  
Luke rushed up to his room. Levitating the Hope Chest back in his impatience, he was only a few minutes gone.  
Thrawn dug through the Hope Chest and lifted the items out, reacquainting himself with what was in it. “I am sorry for the delay. It has been more than forty years since I packed this chest and hid it away. For some reason, I could never bear to destroy it.”  
Luke sighed. “No, a Jedi must have patience. I will use this as an exercise in patience.”  
Thrawn smiled wryly and picked up the wedding gown. “Mine obviously.” Next came the notes. “I made and scented this stationary. He took any excuse to use it.” Then the statuette. “I will explain later.” The baby clothes came next. “Life as a Chancellor’s wife can be very boring. I learned to sew and make crafts to occupy my time.” The jewel chest was too heavy for Thrawn alone. “Funny, this seemed lighter back then. All of this was given to me by my husband.” After the jewels came the clothes. “My old wardrobe. I wonder if it still fits.” Then, Thrawn panicked. “My rings! And the journal!”  
Luke fessed up. “I have them. Don’t worry. I brought them in case I needed more to convince you to explain, and all the ribbons you had saved.”  
Thrawn held out an insistent hand. “Give them to me.”  
Luke opened the satchel and brought out the ribbons first. Each six-looped bow was still perfect. “You used at least some of these in your sewing projects. I saw them.”  
Thrawn smiled softly. “It seemed silly to keep them if I didn’t have a use for them.” For a moment, he examined them. “He did retie them. Each and every one.”  
“What do you mean?” Luke bent close.  
“My husband has retied every one of these bows with a design variation to make them look more like flowers.” Thrawn smiled sadly. “I could tie a six-looped bow, but my Palpatine was an artist with them.”  
Luke took out the journal. “This was your husband’s.”  
Thrawn stroked the cover. “He wrote in it every night in bed. As regular as a clock.”  
Finally, Luke handed over the rings. Thrawn held each one up and fitted them onto his pinkie finger, the man’s ring first and the woman’s rings only went to his second knuckle. “My fingers in this form are larger than Palpatine’s. His fingers were slim, but strong.”  
Luke looked at the rings. “Is there anything particularly special about those rings?”  
Thrawn smiled. “I will get to that.” His eyes misted and he seemed to go into a light trance. “It was in the fifth month after my interference with Outbound Flight that I was exiled…”

Thrawn was exiled in the fifth month after his interference in Outbound Flight.  
Fortunately for Thrawn, the planet he was left on was one that was visited by a pirate band often. Equally fortunately, it was simple to steal one of their larger cruisers.  
The pirates had a whole database of information on their yacht and it was simple to figure out that they preyed on many planets in the Republic that Thrawn had heard about. Thrawn began to plan to begin his life on Courascant, the capital of the Republic. Since he had noted that most species in the Republic would be more sympathetic to those with the appearance of femininity and weakness, and there was a sufficient amount of the necessary substance on the ship, he began the process of metamorphosis from his masculine to the feminine.  
The Chitauri were a race of skim milk white-skinned aliens with red eyes similar to Chiss and the same hermaphroditic qualities. Thrawn’s feminine form was just a shade darker than the Chitauri, but his tiny, bony, frail figure was right in line with their physical specifications. Examining his secondary form in a mirror, Thrawn muttered, “This is why I have never considered breeding before.”  
The Chitauri had a simple hierarchy: if you could beat up everyone else, you were top dog, but their complex and beautiful clothes and artwork betrayed an artistic sense that was not usually found in such violent species. Because of his feminine form’s natural fragility, Thrawn would have been one of the lowest on the totem pole. This would be useful, he could maintain a shy and submissive image that would deflect questions.  
Thrawn made his way to a small Rim world called Naboo. There he sold the pirate yacht and purchased transport to Courascant on a small passenger liner. By the third day, he was standing on a planet-wide city’s ground.  
Since Thrawn’s feminine form was attractive to the peoples of the Republic, he had no trouble getting situated. While working at his job in an upscale tap-caf, he caught the eye of a talent scout working for an exclusive company that catered to the exotic tastes of its customers.  
Thrawn found the work as a model to be degrading and he often felt like so many pounds of meat on a butcher’s table, but it offered different opportunities from the tap-caf, so he put up with it.   
The Chancellor, still in his third year in office, was at one of Thrawn’s smaller, more exclusive shows. On one of his trips down the walk, Thrawn must have caught his eye, because the distinguished personage actually met his eyes and winked. No, he did not look at me; it must have been for Jessica. Jessica, a substantial blonde, was working with Ashley on Thrawn’s other side to balance out his own bony form. Indeed, Jessica winked back as they came to the end and turned back.  
Though Thrawn had three more trips down the walkway, there was never another recognition from Palpatine. It must have been for Jessica. He thought sadly.  
Thrawn went home that night in a gloomy mood. Catching up to him in the lobby, a delivery boy announced, “For Thrawn, the model for KIA.”  
Thrawn had the boy accompany him to his apartment and tipped him. Carrying the package into his bedroom, he made himself open the scented note and cut the ribbons with his bone-weary hands.  
The note was short and concise.  
Thrawn,  
Please meet me at La Petite Chateau at eight o’clock tomorrow night. I am somewhat of an admirer of yours, and desire to meet you.  
-Chancellor Palpatine

Thrawn suddenly didn’t feel tired at all. He blushed from head to foot and cut the final ribbon to open the package. Inside was an electric blue evening gown with silver piping and the shoes to match. With a heady rush, Thrawn recognized the gown he had worn only that evening from the show. Under the gown and shoes, there was a jewelry box. Inside the box, a teardrop, floating necklace of seven equally electric blue gems set in silver shone. The gems were glass, but it didn’t matter. “He meant that look for me!” Thrawn almost screamed.   
The next day, only an hour before he was about to leave, Thrawn received a visit from the same delivery boy bearing a corsage made of three white Gardenias in various stages of bloom. There was also a sleek, black closed skycar waiting outside and the boy held open the door for Thrawn. Climbing into the backseat, Thrawn turned to the left and met the Chancellor’s watery blue eyes. “Thank you for your invitation, Chancellor.”  
Chancellor Palpatine smiled his V-shaped smile. “Only Palpatine for now, Miss Thrawn.”  
Thrawn dropped his eyes. “If I must call you, Palpatine, you must call me Thrawn.”  
“I will then, Thrawn.”  
Thrawn waited for Palpatine to break the silence. “Well, this is a bit of a surprise.”  
“What is?”  
“You’re very shy in real life. I suppose I should have expected it of a Chitauri, but you look so brazen onstage.”  
Thrawn smiled softly. “I am a natural actor. However, I do not believe that an actress is what anyone would wish for, in friends or in romance.”  
Palpatine shook his head. “It is certainly not my desire.”  
La Petite Chateau was a Nubian restaurant and Palpatine knew precisely what every item was. Since it was a Nubian restaurant, there was a dance floor and a concert band was playing. Thrawn’s knowledge of music was limited since Chiss did not generally make it. “Do you like this song?”  
Thrawn came back to himself. “Hmm?”  
“The song, you’re tapping your foot.” Palpatine looked out at the dance floor. “Would you like to order, or dance first?”  
Thrawn dropped his gaze to his water glass. “I can’t dance.”  
“Oh, really? You will have to learn, then. I will teach you sometime soon, if you allow it.”  
Thrawn nodded quickly. “I imagine you dance well, Palpatine.”  
“I have been told that I do.”  
Thrawn smirked at the strings of certainty and pride in Palpatine’s voice. “False modesty does not become you.”  
Palpatine smirked back. “Very well, I am a master of all seven forms of dance and I play the piano so well that I must have suffered a head injury to have ended up in politics.”  
“I have studied art and I can also read and understand people. It is merely a very bad turn of events that has brought me to my current position.” Thrawn matched Palpatine.  
Palpatine chuckled softly and toasted Thrawn with his glass. “A bad turn of events? Dare I pry?”  
Thrawn shook his head and drew up the veil again.  
Palpatine sighed and began fiddling with the glass’ stem. “Well, don’t go back to that. I hardly know what to say.”  
Thrawn glanced up. “I am as speechless as you are.”  
“Well, just don’t talk about politics.”  
Thrawn’s interest was piqued. “Politics? Why not?”  
“Because I talk all day about politics. I have to wake up and think about politics. If you were Supreme Chancellor, you would be sicker than sick of politics.”  
With a slight, teasing smile, Thrawn asked, “And what is this I hear of trouble with a former Jedi named Dooku?”  
Palpatine pretended a severe look, but gave it up to a smile. “One of my latest headaches. He is a political idealist and I do not believe he means harm, but he goes about as if he was stirring a revolution.”  
Thrawn took a sip of his water and then pulled back and stared at it. There were tiny bubbles floating through it. “What’s this?”  
Palpatine leaned over. “It’s carbonated water. Have you ever had it before? Mine is Jogan flavored, is yours different?”  
Thrawn stared at the drink. “How do you tell?”  
Palpatine reached over and gently lifted out a fruit spiked on a skewer. “Oh, yours is Tenan fruit. That does take some getting used to. Should I call for the waiter?”  
“No, no,” Thrawn waved a dismissive hand. “I was merely surprised by the bubbles. How is this made?”  
“I am not familiar with the details of the process, but the bubbles you see are made of a form of gas that is dissolved in the water and are leaving the liquid for the air.”  
Thrawn took another, cautious sip. “It’s good. Different, but good.”  
Palpatine watched Thrawn for several long moments. “You’re not a native to the Chitauri homeworld, are you?”  
Thrawn had decided that he would not lie so far as he had to. “No, I am not from Chtra. My parents left.”  
“That is odd. Why?”  
Thrawn shrugged. “I never asked. I assume for the usual reasons; low caste, inability to find work, and of course, there was me.” He began tracing his water goblet’s rim. “I do not like to speak of it.”  
Palpatine sat back in his chair. “Don’t look now, but there’s a man with a holo-cam trained on us.”  
Thrawn relaxed back into his own chair and flicked a glance over one shoulder. “Hmm, I see him. What should we do?”  
“Well, in a situation like this, one either minds one’s manners… or puts on a show.” Palpatine flicked his pointer finger to a waiter who came running. “Would it be a presumption for me to order for you?”  
Thrawn shook his head. “I have never been to this kind of restaurant before, go ahead.”  
Palpatine turned to the attendant waiter. “We will have the Shaak and Koober plate. Now, sear that fish gently this time, please. Make the Shaak rare for me and medium-rare for my lady friend.”  
Palpatine returned his eyes to Thrawn. “The Koober fish is a meaty species from the deep waters of Naboo. It can be handled just like a steak and can even be cooked to medium-well done… If you want to ruin a perfectly good piece of fish. The chef is a trifle heavy-handed with his searing, but I have never had to send anything back because of him.”  
Thrawn mentally searched for an equivalent description of the kind of animal and came up empty. It seemed that the Republic would continue to surprise him in spite of his research. “I have never had it before.”  
“I’m not surprised. Koober also goes under the name Bloodfin or Tuna depending upon where it is found.”  
A different waiter in a fancier uniform carrying a flowing, round bottle of wine came towards the table and laid a pair of tall stemmed glasses on the table. “Pinot Grigio, on the house, Your Excellency. Were you aware that this is your twenty-fifth visit?”  
“No, Alex, I was not. Thank you.”  
Thrawn watched Alex pour a very light wine into his glass. “Pinot Grigio?”  
“A white grape with a clear, crisp flavor and various subtle undertones. This particular vintage is full of summer fruits such as melon and peaches,” Alex poured for Palpatine. “This is one of the last bottles.”  
Palpatine took a sip and swirled it around in his mouth. “You are quite correct, Alex. We will savor it.”  
Thrawn took a cautious sip of his own. “It is good. Very complex.”  
Alex bowed and left the wine on the table. Palpatine nodded to himself and then shook his head. “Alex is the Maitre’D. When I was a Senator, he was just a waiter and we became friendly.”  
“But not friends?”  
“No, we are not sociable with each other, but he knows how to find a good bottle of wine in a case of junk and how to add sparkle to a room. Once, I tried to hire him as a personal servant, but he refused,” Palpatine considered the wine in his glass. “I must admit to something, Thrawn. I am not interested in a short fling. If this becomes regular, then you must know that I will settle for nothing less than total commitment. In the same way, you could expect complete commitment from me.”  
Thrawn began turning his wine glass between his fingers. “And if one of us does not have total commitment?”  
“It’s all or nothing with me, Miss Thrawn. I have never been able to make myself settle for less, I do not share well, and that is perhaps why some find me so difficult to be with.” Palpatine looked up from the wine. “My question is: Are you willing to go the distance? To allow the rest of the world to slip on by?”  
“Are you?”  
“Yes.”

Thrawn woke slowly from his trance. “…it was a foregone conclusion that we would fall in love. Of course, such things do not happen overnight, but we both had the supreme ability to block out distractions, and you would be amazed by how quickly a thing can flourish if given all of a person’s extra energies. You would not understand why a man dedicated to a supreme commitment would be so insanely attractive, but among my own species, very little is sacred, least of all marriage. I always felt that the way my people lived, in one bed one night and another the next, was a hopeless, downward spiral. I realized from a very long time ago that I could not live like that.” He straightened. “The Naboo are as far from my people in this respect as the East is from the West, and Palpatine was considered a prude even by his own people.”  
Luke picked up one of the vacuum bags that was filled with electric blue cloth. “You kept the gown at least. What happened to the necklace?”  
Thrawn gestured to the Hope Chest. “I kept anything he gave me. Every experience, every moment was precious, and as you know or should have deduced, my memory depends heavily on my five senses.” Touching a blue temple, Thrawn smiled sadly. “That was why I locked this all away.”  
“Did you keep nothing?”  
Thrawn nodded to the tea set. “A gift, the last one I ever received from him. He gave it to me only a week before he died.”  
Luke touched a symbol on his teacup’s sides. “Love knots. Bows and flowers. A very romantic design to the Chitauri.”  
“Yes and the second tea set you saw was a different gift, one that I used less frequently. It was a wedding gift from your mother’s family. An heirloom from an old family, for a new clan.” Thrawn gestured widely. “I will explain the significance soon, I believe, but for now we both must retire. While we have been talking, it has gotten late.”

Luke spoke to Artoo before he went to bed that night. “I’m not sure I believe it. It’s simply incredible. But Thrawn believes very strongly that all that he has said is true.”  
Artoo whirred softly.   
“I know that the Emperor was fully capable of deception, but to have deceived even Grand Admiral Thrawn so completely…” Luke shook his head. “Incredible is what it is. Incredible.”  
Artoo beeped saucily.   
“I know that we all believe what we want to believe, but Thrawn has never struck me as a person who acknowledged his own feelings much. I could be wrong, but if it is a lie that Thrawn believes, then it must have been a very good one.”


	2. Doing Your Homework

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke takes his story to Garm Bel Iblis. He probably shouldn't have.

Luke had to wait for quite some time before he could get back down to Thrawn’s quarters. There was a bit of a mix-up with a species called the Ishori and General Bel Iblis and Rogue Squadron had been called in.  
After the actual fighting had been calmed, Luke found a moment to speak to the former Senator. “General. General Iblis?”  
“Yes, Master Skywalker. What can I do for you?”  
“General, I want to ask you some questions. Can we go somewhere private?” Luke huffed from his run after the General.  
“Certainly. Right this way.” As soon as the General and Luke were comfortably seated, Iblis turned to the Jedi Master. “Now, what is this about?”  
“I have some questions about Chancellor Palpatine.”  
Iblis frowned. “An interesting topic. What did you want to know?”  
Luke settled back into his seat. “First I have to do a little explaining.” Carefully avoiding details, Luke told Iblis that it had come to his attention that the Emperor may not have been the same man that held the position of Supreme Chancellor. “Did you ever notice anything like that?”  
“Well, everyone who lived during my time period knows that the Chancellor was always a benevolent figure, of course we later learned the truth, but he still could play the part of a gentle uncle very well. He was a politician, Master Skywalker, and all good politicians are good actors. Now, there was a noticeable change after his wife died.”  
Luke straightened suddenly. “His wife died?”  
“Yes, apparently she was assassinated by the use of a bomb placed under their bed somehow. Her body was hardly recognizable at the funeral and cremation in the Naboo style. It was merely a few minutes of midnight restlessness that saved the Chancellor from a similar fate, but now that I know what he was, I’m not so sure that he didn’t off her himself, though it would have been an odd move for him.”  
Han came barging in at that moment. “What would be an odd move for who?”  
Bel Iblis gestured to a chair. “Sit down, Han. I was just speaking to Luke about Chancellor Palpatine and his wife.”  
Han sat down. “Palpatine? You mean cottage cheese face with yellow eyes? He actually had some poor woman with him? I pity her.”  
“You should, she’s dead,” Iblis said shortly. “She was basically blown to pieces two years before the founding of the New Order by terrorists. At least, that was the official report.” Iblis turned back to Luke. “What is your source for this allegation that the Emperor and the Chancellor might not be the same man?”  
Luke fidgeted. “I’d rather not say.”  
“It wasn’t old red-eyes was it? You should know better to trust what he says, Luke. You’ve done some nutty things, but I wouldn’t have suspected this of you.”  
Luke sighed. “Han, at the moment, Grand Admiral Thrawn has no reason to lie. How can lying about the Chancellor, a man who is surely dead whether he was the Emperor or not, help him in any way?”  
“I don’t know, but I don’t like it.”   
Luke touched his bottom lip. “Are you certain the wife died?”  
“I was at the funeral. Her body was held together with spit and glue for the sake of the ceremony, it seemed. Most of the skin was blackened, but her face was still recognizable and she still had a few locks of her marvelous blue-black hair. No, I am certain it was her.”  
“It couldn’t have been anything else? A wax figure? Or a clone?”  
“How ridiculous would that be?” Han shot. “Growing a perfectly good clone only to blast it to smithereens? Just killing the woman would be easier. Why do you care anyway? Who was this girl?”  
Iblis supplied the answer before Luke could do anything. “She was a Chitauri model named…” He turned to Luke. “You’re not serious.”  
Luke nodded slowly. “Yes. If I am not very much mistaken, Grand Admiral Thrawn and this model are the same person. I even have some proof and, of course, Thrawn himself is telling me his story. I have sensed no duplicity in anything he has said.”  
Han snorted. “Bantha Fodder. Luke, this guy has you wrapped around his little finger. When he decides to use his influence on you, you had better be ready to snap out of this.”  
Luke gave Han a look and produced a holo-projector that he had copied Thrawn’s files onto. “Take a look.” With Han busy with the pictures, Luke managed to bring Iblis’ attention back to the subject. “What specifically did you notice about the Chancellor that changed?”  
“Well, he began to wear much darker colors than he had, and he was much more… uncompromising in regard to the war effort. He stopped attending most parties, and I heard from Senator Amidala that he had purged Thrawn from his life. The portrait that he had had painted of them was removed, all her furniture and her favorite pieces of art were removed, and he became… Well, he was different. He would brook no mention of her and it was as if she hadn’t existed. I heard that he had even put away her Hope Chest, which he had packed all of her possessions into and he even got rid of her bird somehow.”  
“Her bird was gotten rid of?”  
“It vanished soon after Thrawn’s death. Palpatine had apparently given the bird and the cage which it lived in away because the next time I saw such a bird again, it was flying in the palace garden three years after his death. I have assured myself that it cannot have been the same bird, but it was of the same type.”  
Luke touched his lip again. “Was the bird a Weeb?”  
“Yes, a songbird from Naboo.”  
Luke sighed, “The more I learn, the more I believe that Thrawn might know a truth that nobody else would have.”  
Han looked up from the pictures. “I still don’t believe it. Old red-eyes and the Emperor were both tricky folks. Just because one is being honest doesn’t mean that the other one was, and if he was tricky enough, then I suppose that even Thrawn could be taken in.” Han’s voice became soft and tinted with sympathy. “Though, if he is, I pity him more than any other man. I may not look it, but I know how much spouses love each other. To lose that love, or to never have had it in the first place… I think it would drive me crazy.”

Luke returned to Thrawn as soon as possible. He had an idea of how to confirm some of the most unbelievable pieces of his story for Han and Iblis. Since Han knew, Leia probably would soon as well. Carrying a jar of cocao butter, he came down to the detention quarters. “Thrawn, I am sorry for the delay.”  
Thrawn unfolded from his chair and nodded. “Good day, Master Skywalker.” He spotted the jar. “I imagine that I know what you have in mind. I also imagine that I won’t like it.”  
Luke handed Thrawn the jar. “It’s cacao butter. I’m sorry, but I’m not the only person you have to convince.”  
Thrawn opened the jar and sniffed the contents. “Lovely.” Picking up the spoon from his lunch tray, he began to spread a large amount of the substance on a piece of lightly toasted bread. “I warn you. Once the chemical compounds hit my bloodstream, the transformation will be very fast and will last for a few days if I do not ingest any more.”  
Luke waited while Thrawn finished the toast and then asked the question that was hanging on his mind. “General Iblis told me that Chancellor Palpatine’s wife had died.”  
Thrawn raised an eyebrow. “You have spoken to others?”  
Luke winced. He probably should have asked for permission. “I saw a chance to get someone else’s perspective on the events that you have been describing and took it. General Iblis is trustworthy, and he will not simply tell anyone what you have told me.”  
Thrawn sniffed. “The issue is not whether or not my personal life will become the subject of a gossip column. The issue is that you expanded the circle of people who have an interest in my past without consulting me. I would have given permission if you had bothered to ask.” Turning away, Thrawn continued, “The Jedi have not changed from when I knew them, then.”  
“What do you mean by that?”  
“During the old days of the Republic, the Jedi were peacekeepers and guardians, but they also had no concept of any person’s wish to keep secret that which was their own. They would often act as they believed was right for a person instead of taking the time to secure permission. Now, I will give you that many of these decisions were made under the duress of time, but they would also not apologize for the liberties they took. Your actions have proved that even though your vaunted New Jedi Order claims it has learned from its past, it does not know enough of the problem to offer any solutions, and it repeats the same mistakes.”  
Luke had to admit the truth of Thrawn’s words. “Do you know of the Jedi as well?”  
“I was the Supreme Chancellor’s wife in a time of crisis. I saw more of the Jedi than anyone else perhaps, and my husband and his friend, your father, told me more. Anakin believed that the Order had become too busy with politics to do what it was meant to do, and Palpatine thought that the Jedi had become bloated, secure in their power. I drew my own conclusions based on my own encounters with society and the victims of Jedi ‘help’ in addition to what they told me. I also met a dark jedi named Asaaj Ventress who rescued me from a bad situation… and who’s crimes were pardoned by my husband in return, at my request.”  
“I will admit that I know little. I know of their tenants and how they answered to the Senate, but I did not know about all the complaints against them.”  
Thrawn snorted. “Then you have not looked.”  
Their conversation was short and had to be abbreviated due to Thrawn’s radical transformation. Luke could not keep his mind on topic while the person he was speaking to was shrinking away before his eyes and growing pale as death.

There were more difficulties waiting for Luke’s attention when he got out of Thrawn’s rooms. Passing through the surveillance room, Luke gave orders for Thrawn to be watched, but for no one to be alerted to the changes in his configuration.  
A Noghri clan leader was waiting in the lobby. “Master Skywalker,” she mewled. “I would speak to you concerning the one you hold prisoner.”  
Luke nodded. “Very well. Would you care to join me for a refreshment?”  
“No, my business will be short.”  
Suddenly, something alerted Luke to danger. Turning, he called, “Wait in my office!” A brush of the Force and Luke barely moved to the side before the Noghri barreled at him. Luke flung out his lightsaber and sliced off an arm at the shoulder. Leaving the matron in the dust, he shouted as he ran back towards the detention level. “There are intruders in the Temple! Everyone be on guard!”  
A Noghri team was in Thrawn’s chambers. The Jedi guards were lying unconscious in the hall. Thrawn, half changed into a practical Zeyd outfit from his Hope Chest and lying in an increasingly large pool of blood and other liquids, was at their collective feet. “Out of the way,” Luke ordered and he called on the Force to slow the bleeding. “What have you done?”  
“Justice for our homeworld,” one of the Noghri hissed. “Ones like this destroyed Honoghr, and yet you have done nothing that befits such crimes.”  
Luke turned Thrawn over. His transformation was complete and as astonishing as could be. “He’s going to live. Get out of my way.” Gathering the unconscious Chiss up, Luke was met by the welcome sight of a medical team and more guards.  
“Get him on the table.” Good, no questions were being asked yet. “Bacta patches and an IV, now.”  
The Noghri did nothing to stop the Jedi knights, nor did they struggle when they were put into shock-binders and taken away to await Courascant authorities.  
Han was in the medical bay with Leia while Thrawn was lowered into a bacta tank. “Well, I suppose old red-eyes was telling the truth about the transformation at least. Do you suppose he’ll be all right?”  
Luke shook his head. “I don’t know. I just don’t know.”  
“If he does die, I suppose we’ll never know for certain how the story ends.”  
Leia touched the glass of the Bacta tank. “Everyone has seen him like this now. It will all have to come out. How do you think people will react to knowing that the last Chancellor was not what was believed?”  
Han shook his head. “I don’t care. I’m more surprised at the Noghri attack. I hate to think what could happen to law and order if more of these ‘honor killings’ of helpless prisoners happen.”  
Leia sighed. “It is the way of the Noghri to take vengeance. The guard may have to be doubled.”  
“The Temple is one of the most secure places on Courascant. If the Noghri could get in here, then they would have managed to kill him if he had been in an ordinary prison. I suppose we should be grateful to the Force for allowing us any forewarning.”  
“That would be useless if the Noghri have him handed over to them for justice by the courts,” Leia said darkly. “They’ve been trying for weeks.”  
“They can’t do that!” Han sounded appalled. “He’s been in the box already and he was cleared on all charges. Except for the fact that we are still in open hostilities, we would be forced to let him go.”  
“Yes, Han. And that’s New Republic law. Further, we cannot find out what exactly happened to Honoghr, so any attempt at a conviction would fall short. Under questioning and oath, he has sworn that he knew nothing of the disaster beyond what the Noghri knew. That was enough for Luke, and his testimony that Thrawn was speaking the truth during questioning was enough for a jury that was made up of our own military officers and the tribunal. However, it has proven not to be enough for the Noghri’s own honor code.”  
Luke put his hand beside Leia’s on the bacta tank’s wall and added his Force strength to the healing liquids. Somehow, he had the feeling that Thrawn would need all the strength he could muster for dealing with his former agents.

Thrawn was in a Force induced trance and a bacta tank for the next several days. While he was sleeping, Thrawn recovered his original form as the effects of the cacao butter wore off.  
When he did wake, Thrawn was in no shape to talk. “The cacao butter burns off muscle instead of reshaping it like the natural transformation does. The user becomes helpless as a baby.” Thrawn laughed shakily. “I may as well be a baby. It seems that I’ve become the darling of your medical staff.”  
Luke was standing beside the Chiss’ recovery bed. “I hate to bother you, but the Noghri call for revenge is strong, and though I do not believe that they will be able to have you handed over, they may try another assassination attempt.”  
Thrawn leaned back on the pillows. “Then you may as well have another segment of the story. Palpatine was a bold man when it came to our encounters…”

Palpatine knocked directly on Thrawn’s apartment door at eight o’clock at night. Without formality, he went in and hugged Thrawn. “You have no idea what I’ve been through today.”  
Thrawn gestured into his living room. “Come in. Sit down. Tell me all about it.”  
Twenty minutes later Palpatine was lying on the couch with his head in Thrawn’s lap. “…and then they all started throwing things at each other. I couldn’t see through all the crossfire and someone upset my plate. I left and immediately came here. Oh, darling, if I have to deal with one more Ishori delegation, I’ll lose it.”  
Thrawn ran his fingers through Palpatine’s hair. “You poor thing.”  
Palpatine sighed. “Thank you, Thrawn.”  
“You must be starving. Come into the kitchen and I’ll find something to eat. I haven’t eaten myself. I’m afraid I only have leftovers right now.”  
“Thank you. So long as there are no Ishori involved I could eat anything.” Palpatine helped Thrawn put together some plates to warm. “I probably should have been more discreet in coming here.”  
“It’s all right. Having my face on magazines is good for my career as a model.” Thrawn smiled slyly. “And gossip puts my name in men’s minds.”  
Palpatine grunted noncommittally. “I just hate to hear rumors about people I care for as if they were the latest… I don’t know.” He shifted unsteadily. “Perhaps I shouldn’t have driven myself over. I don’t feel good at all.”  
“Should I call a cab?” Thrawn asked setting a pair of forks in front of them. “I’d be happy to let you have the sofa, but people would talk.”  
“No, no. A cab will be fine. I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you, my dear.”  
Thrawn smiled softly. “On the contrary. You could help me clear out some more leftovers if you were here for breakfast.”  
Palpatine grinned. “I know, but people would talk.”  
“People talking is fine with me.”  
“Honey, I couldn’t care less what people say about me. It’s what they say about you that bothers me.”  
Thrawn shrugged.   
Palpatine ate in silence for a few minutes. “How would you feel about getting married?”  
Thrawn put down his fork. “I would have to consider it carefully, but I believe that the answer would be yes.”

Palpatine appeared on the set of a shoot about ten minutes before Thrawn was finished with the final shot. Making a face at Thrawn when no one was looking, he distracted him just long enough for an erroneous shot to be taken and for a scolding from the camera man to be made necessary.  
Thrawn pretended to be upset with Palpatine over the little incident, but couldn’t keep a straight face. “It was still awful of you.”  
Palpatine kissed Thrawn’s cheek. “All right, I won’t.”  
Thrawn sighed and leaned back in the seat. “The new cameraman hates me.”  
“Really? Why do you say that?”  
“He can’t look at me without criticizing me.”  
“Well, that’s his job, honey.” Palpatine flipped a jewel box to Thrawn. “I’m no good at this sort of thing.”  
Thrawn opened the jewel box and found a fabulous diamond ring. It was made of aurodium and set with a diamond that must have weighed at least twenty carats. The general shape of the stone was a triangle and it had thousands of sparkling facets.  
Thrawn would never remember what he said or did next. He was blubbering and laughing and singing all at the same time.

“… and so it was. I was an engaged woman to the Chancellor of the Republic. My boss threw a fit when I told him I would have to resign.” Thrawn finished. “If there was ever a proof that a man loved a woman, it was in that ring. When I asked him later how he had picked it out and found a way for it to look so perfect for me, he told me that he had hunted down the finest raw materials and hounded a jeweler to the detail.” Thrawn smiled. “According to him, he went through four different stones before the cut was perfect.”  
Luke nodded to the three rings on Thrawn’s finger. “You sent for it.”  
“One of your medical staff was so kind. As to this situation with the Noghri, take the clan matriarchs this message: I challenge their champion to an honor duel to settle our differences. As soon as I am healed, I will fight for my own peace of mind.”


	3. The Hope Chest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're Engaged! And Married! And on Honeymoon!
> 
> Just read the bloody chapter.

The honor duel was agreed to by the combined clans and the Noghri spent the weeks up to Thrawn’s expected duel training and competing with each other.  
Luke was sickened by the whole affair. Couldn’t the Noghri see that Thrawn was just as horrified as they had been?  
Thrawn trained as well. He intended to make use of a long knife, and Luke had to admit that he was excellent, but would it be enough against the speed and agility of a Noghri commando?  
When Luke expressed doubt, Thrawn waved him off. “Doubtless I will be at a disadvantage so far as natural ability is concerned. However, I have a few tricks up my sleeve. Now, our wedding was scheduled for the second year of Palpatine’s second term and was to be on Coruscant and Palpatine was determined to help me master the third of the seven forms of dance before it…”

Palpatine slowly moved in sequence. “Step forward. Step back. To the side, and now spin…”  
Thrawn had learned to dance easily for the most part, every dance had a pattern, but this final one, a Correllian Reel, was giving him difficulty.  
Palpatine loved to practice with Thrawn. Alone in his apartment after Aza and his father had gone to bed, they flew together. However, Thrawn had the sense that Palpatine was holding himself back as they went. “Excellent, Thrawn. Excellent,” he would say, but every move felt stiff and restrained.  
Finally, Thrawn would stand for it no longer. “Oh, stop.”  
Palpatine released Thrawn’s slim waist and settled into a chair. “What’s wrong?”  
“I’ll never be able to dance like you, and I can feel your frustration at my lack.”  
Palpatine shook his head. “Thrawn, if I told you all about the various people I have danced with, you would think yourself to be a Ballerina Prima. You have made most excellent progress. If I seem frustrated, it has nothing to do with you.”  
Thawn sighed. “We may as well get back to it, then.”  
Palpatine stood. “May I try something different this time?”  
Thrawn nodded. “It cannot hurt.”  
Palpatine stood behind Thrawn and told him to step up onto the tops pf his shoes. With care, he began guiding Thrawn through the motions moving and manipulating his appendages in time with his own body.  
Thrawn was stiff and unworkable at first, but he soon relaxed and Palpatine guided him into the fluid dance. When Palpatine finally stopped moving, he turned around in his arms and squeezed. “That was amazing.”  
Palpatine nodded. “It’s a training technique known as ‘stealing a shadow’. Did you enjoy it?”  
“Oh, yes.”  
Palpatine glanced at the clock. “Great Scott! Is that the time? Come on, I’ve got to get you home or the tabloids will have a field day!”

Thrawn could hardly force himself to wait the final few days before the wedding, it was so close to perfect that he could hardly breathe sometimes.

Thrawn’s wedding gown was made of tan-grey satin and embroidered with pearls. It was in the Chitauri style, with a close collar and a high sitting crown made of a crest of silk-covered framework and covered over with pearls. His bouquet was gardenias and roses and all were tipped in silver paint. There was never a bride who had worn more pearls at once for they never detracted from his appearance, even in excess.  
Padme Amidala, the senator from Naboo and Palpatine’s good friend, was to be Thrawn’s bridesmaid. She was a lovely woman with brown hair and brown eyes, but she expected too much of people and times in Thrawn’s opinion.  
Padme had already brought Thrawn her wedding gift. It was actually from her parents, but they had been unable to attend. According to Padme, one of the many Naboo wedding traditions is the gift of a cup made for one family to the bride of the new one. In the old days of Naboo, tea was a necessary part of life, but a teacup from each of the houses would have been worse than insulting to House Palpatine, because its own family collection of cups and the teakettle itself had been destroyed. Therefore, Padme’s parents had a new set cast in the grand Baroque style of the early Republic. As it had been in the past when a great house suffered a schism, they took a piece of their own set and had it melted with new metal. They cast into a tea service and six cups, and Padme presented it to Thrawn with great care.  
Palpatine, as usual heedless of tradition, came waltzing into the bridal preparation chamber and chased Padme out. Shutting the doors firmly behind her, Palpatine had a bounce in his step as he came forward and kissed Thrawn. “You look ravishing.”  
“Palpatine! You’re not supposed to see me like this until the ceremony!” Thrawn laughed and pushed him away.   
“How can I stay away for so long? The ceremony’s hours and hours from now!”  
Thrawn gave him a mirthfully scolding look. “No it isn’t. It’s thirty minutes.”  
“Like I said, hours and hours!” Palpatine moved in for another kiss.  
Thrawn leapt back. “Oh, no you don’t, you’ll smudge my lipstick and Padme will have to redo it.”  
Palpatine sighed and settled for a kiss on the cheek. “Oh, well. It is a nice color. I have always appreciated your efforts to look perfect.”  
“Really? I have always been told that I try too hard.”  
Palpatine planted another kiss on Thrawn’s cheek. “You are not a careless beauty. If you were, I would not love you as much as I do.”  
“Why not?”  
“It would show a definite lack of caring on your part if you were willing to go about in just any old garment and with anything but the perfect lipstick and accessory. I feel that such women are disrespectful of themselves and of other people.” Palpatine planted another kiss at the corner of Thrawn’s lips. “That is why I do not mind your fussiness, I actually encourage it.” Then, he kissed Thrawn full on the lips and he did indeed smear the glossy, shimmering lipstick.  
Thrawn laughed and pushed him away. “Now see what you’ve done! You’ll have plenty of kisses later. Go and greet our guests.”  
Palpatine gave Thrawn a wicked smile and wiped his mouth on the back of his hand. With a final, blown kiss, he was gone and Padme was back in, fussing about the state of Thrawn’s makeup.

The ceremony was simple and without ornamentation. It was in the Chitauri style. There were roses and gardenias everywhere. Aza, Palpatine’s chauffer’s son and his delivery boy, was the ring-bearer. He looked particularly mischievous with his pressed suit and his gardenia buttoneir, and Thrawn wondered exactly what he had planned. The flower-girl was zealous with the softly scented petals as she tossed them about. She was a friend of Aza’s from school.  
The guests were all distinguished senators and other members of society, except for Padme’s family, Thrawn knew them by sight. There was Garm Bel Iblis, the Correllian senator, Senator Bail Organa of Alderaan, Queen Nepte of the Naboo, the Twi'Leck senator Orn Free Taa, Ranulph Tarkin the senior Senator of Eriadu and his son Wilhuff, and the former Chancellor Finis Valorum. There were also a handful of Jedi Knights.  
Valorum was not taking retirement well. He did not like to be off of the political scene, but his government would not have him back in any capacity now that his hour was past. He was courteous and had good manners, but seemed to be distant as he handed over his gift and left early, citing terrible troubles with his estate.  
Orn Free Taa was humongously fat, but he was hearty and cheery. Thrawn liked him, but would not wish to sit next to him at the wedding feast. His gift was traditional in the Chitauri fashion, a red envelope carrying a tenth of what would be the proper dowry were Thrawn truly Chitauri.  
Bail Organa was a regal man with a neatly trimmed goatee and hairstyle. He smiles easily and well, but he seems sad and withdrawn inside. Thrawn had heard that his wife, the queen of Alderaan, is barren. That might be it.  
Garm Bel Iblis gave Thrawn and Palpatine a Corellian flame miniature. Thrawn loved the way the fire danced in its shape. Garm was a warrior, not a politician, he missed his calling.  
Queen Nepte offered Naboo jewels to Thrawn. Under her heavy makeup and strange hair, she looked as alien as Thrawn did.  
Ranulph Tarkin was older than Palpatine, but he walked with military precision in his step. His son Wilhuff was the same. Both were handsome in their own stiff way, and their gifts were as practical as decorative. One was ivory china painted with azure and lilac waters and rimmed with aurodium. There were thirty sets with eighteen pieces per set. The other was an equally ornate and large set of silverware. Wilhuff had piercing eyes that seem to stare directly into Thrawn. He would not have been surprised to hear Wilhuff call him out for a fraud in spite of all his care.  
Palpatine’s eyes were kind and warm as he took Thrawn’s hand at the table. It was summer on his home planet of Naboo, and all of the delicacies at the table had been grown and made on his estate, Convergence. There was a young shaak on a bed of rice and green peas which was the center piece. There were also fruits of every kind and a rich, sweet and bubbly wine made of apples. The white sugar frosting on the cake was dotted with glaceed peaches and apricots interrupted by sugared rose petals.

Thrawn must have eaten too much rich food because he was sick later that night on Palpatine’s yacht. The stuff he threw up was the golden color of the peaches.  
Palpatine laughed at Thrawn. “Every year when I was young, I would gorge myself on green peaches before they were even ripe. My mother would hide me for being such a pig when she found out that I was vomiting.”  
Thrawn made a face before doubling up again. Palpatine stood from his seat on the edge of the bath and patted Thrawn’s back.  
When Thrawn’s stomach was empty, he came to the bed, curled up beside Palpatine, and groaned with his head in his husband’s chest. “I have never had peaches before.”  
Palpatine smirked puckishly. “Someone had a pitiful childhood.”  
Thrawn raised his head. “That good?”  
Palpatine stroked Thrawn’s blue-black hair. “Have I offended you?”  
Thrawn kissed the small line that split his chin. “I’m not offended. I understood that you were joking.”  
Palpatine did not make love to Thrawn that night. His bride was too sick and tired to be excited or aroused.

Convergence is a remote estate from the capital of Theed, and though Palpatine did not drive the speeder as they rushed along over the grasslands, Thrawn found himself to be surprisingly unworried. Naboo was a beautiful planet.  
Convergence was one of the few estates of the seven great families of Naboo that was still intact and useful. The large spans of grassland had shaak grazing on them and almost all of the cultivated land is covered in ancient orchards, vineyards, and fields of crops. There was a winery and the lake that occupies at least a tenth of the land was overflowing with fish. Appelung, horses of black and white that had wool coats as soft as can be while still as strong as possible ran free over the meadows with the Shaak and trained tuskcats herd both animals. House Palpatine had never sold an inch of its land though it had bought and absorbed the lands of the houses around it. During Palpatine’s grandfather’s times, there was trouble with the other houses and so a wall thirty feet high was erected. All along the outside of the wall there are climbing roses of every color covering it. It was just like the Naboo; seeming beautiful, but as hard as stone beneath.  
Palpatine tapped on the dash. “Jarvis, the AI that manages my house is driving us. I like to drive myself, but not for long times like the six hour trip from Convergence to Theed.”  
Thrawn ran a hand over the speeder. “He’s in the speeder?”  
“Yes, and in almost every part of my house. He also has cameras practically everywhere on the estate and manages to keep track of maintenance necessary.”  
Thrawn laid his aching head on Palpatine’s shoulder. “Does he command anything else? Droids?”  
“Not many. Mostly house cleaners and a chef. I like the fields to be tended to by actual field hands. They can handle the fruits and vegetables in ways that a droid can’t.”

Palpatine carried Thrawn into the house after making him close his eyes. For an elderly man, he was fit enough for that at least. Setting his bride on his feet, Palpatine uncovered his eyes. There, on the wall was a portrait painted in oils and bold colors. Thrawn’s mouth dropped open and he slid forward to stare at the painting. The portrait was so real that he felt as if he could reach out and touch the soft wrinkles at Palpatine’s eyes or the V-shaped lips in their still mischievous smile or perhaps the pale hand resting on an armchair’s back. The creature that sat in the enormously wide armchair in front of him… Could that be Thrawn?  
This new creature was miniscule in the wide chair. His head barely came up over the back and his black hair shone with his almost blue highlights. His pale, bluish skin was emphasized by the darkness of the chair, by the claret of his old-fashioned gown... The artist had taken liberties with their clothes. The creature doubtless meant to be Thrawn was in a courtly gown of claret velvet with puffs at the shoulder and long, sleek tubes all the way down to the fingers. The bodice was a lower cut than Thrawn would have liked, but the gentle peek at his bosom was interrupted by a silken undergarment trimmed with delicate lace that had a golden stock pin set with a dark garnet stone in it. The claret velvet was trimmed with gold at the cuff and along the neckline and all around the stomacher. Thrawn’s hands were folded in his lap, but there was a gold ring with a second garnet on his finger. His expression was gentle, beautiful, strange, and barely touched with gold makeup, as he sat there and almost smiled at the watching double.   
Palpatine was in a dark cloak with an elaborate gold pattern. The cloak did not quite conceal his blue waistcoat with a white collar and a pin with a design of triangles holding the cloak closed held itself up to the light. His lower body was hidden by the chair. His expression was young and full of life as far from Thrawn’s as possibly could be.  
Thrawn, the real one, turned to Palpatine. “How?”  
“An artist with a vivid imagination, a handful of credits, and a holo-picture. Do you like it?”  
Thrawn wrapped his arms about Palpatine. “It’s so…strange. I love it, but I’m afraid.”  
Palpatine touched the canvas. “It is uncanny.” Thrawn placed a hand beside Palpatine’s. “I was slightly shaken myself.”  
With the reassurance of the canvas barrier between one familiar world and the second, distant one, Thrawn recovered his shock. “It’s amazing.”  
Palpatine smiled. “That’s not all. Come here to the bedroom.”  
Thrawn placed his hand in Palpatine’s and allowed him to lead him up the stairs and into a room on the third floor. The carpet was deep and plush and the furniture was richly upholstered. And there, at the foot of the bed, was a glowing cherry-wood chest. The chest was inlaid with gold and mother of pearl in the most complex pattern that Thrawn had ever seen. It was so complex, that to Thrawn it appeared that the cherry-wood could be simply another piece of inlay. “It’s beautiful. Is it for me?”  
Palpatine nodded. “A Hope Chest, it’s for keeping treasures and other pieces of memorabilia.” He took out a silver pendant on a long chain. “This is the key. It’s an old-fashioned lock and, oddly enough, almost impossible to pick with modern tools. Not everything new is best, I suppose.”  
Thrawn fitted the key into the lock and turned it. Lifting up the lid, he examined the interior. It was very plain with smooth, even sides and a lovely, flowing grain. “It’s solid, all in one piece.”  
“It was carved out of a record-breaking cherry tree. The single piece design will give it strength to withstand the wear and tear of life.” Palpatine ran his hand over the top of the chest as he lowered the lid.  
Thrawn stood. “I do believe that I will have many reasons to use this chest.”  
Palpatine smiled. “I have already provided for the wedding gown to be hung on a wall in our chambers. As you can see, there is a shadow case for it.”  
The Chitauri do display their wedding gowns in cases such as this and Thrawn and Palpatine hung it up together. Now without his gown, Thrawn was left with his slip and undergarments alone.   
Thrawn looked around the marvelous room. “All these gifts make the diary I gave you seem quite plain.”  
Palpatine shook his head. “No, it isn’t. I love it.”  
Thrawn smiled softly. “Thank you.”  
Palpatine looked out the window. “It’s still fairly early. Shall we, or do you want to wait until tonight?”  
Thrawn was struck with nervousness. “Tonight, I think. I wish to make a special meal for both of us. If you would be willing to wait on the upper floors, I will go about preparing it.”  
“All right. Let’s just unload the luggage first.” Palpatine and Thrawn went about unpacking and then Thrawn went downstairs to the kitchen to cook.  
Thrawn found a package of the Jasmine Green Tea Pearls in the cabinet and put them into a tea pot to steep. When he had finished cooking a wedding soup in the Chiss, not the Chitauri, style, he called Palpatine down. Leftover wedding cake would serve for dessert.  
Palpatine took a sip of the green tea and spat it back out. “Thrawn, how long have you steeped this?”  
“About an hour now. I didn’t want to forget it.”  
Palpatine shook his head. “Thrawn, Green Tea Pearls can only be steeped for three minutes before they turn bitter.”  
Thrawn blushed. “Oh, I’m so sorry.”  
Palpatine waved a dismissive hand. “Don’t worry about it. I messed up more than my fair share of tea myself.”  
Thrawn and Palpatine finished the meal and shared the chore of washing dishes. “Do you swim, Thrawn?”  
“Yes, occasionally.”  
Palpatine smiled and his blue eyes danced. “Then you’ll love the lakes here. The water is clear and there are so many things to look at.”  
Thrawn also smiled. “I do believe I will love living here with you.”

“…As I said, my Palpatine was a gentleman, and he loved me dearly.” Thrawn sighed and closed his eyes. “I miss him.”  
Luke nodded. “I would too. He sounded crazy about you.”  
“Crazy isn’t quite the right word. I don’t think that anything he ever did could be called crazy.”  
Luke sighed. “The duel is tomorrow. Are you sure you can do this?”  
“Am I sure? Of course not. But I have to do my best.”  
Luke shook his head. “This is nuts. Surely there’s some way around this. I mean, this duel might be allowed because of the Noghri code, but there’s no provision for this in New Republic law.”  
Thrawn shrugged wearily. “There is nothing else that will convince the Noghri to withdraw their hostility. Please, I am at peace with my choice, and if I die, I die.”  
“Yes, but if you die I won’t ever know how the story ends.”  
“Of course you will. You’ll read Palpatine’s diary. Most of my own story is in there, though not in as much detail, and he was writing in it before he died.”  
Luke shook his head. “It wouldn’t be the same.”


	4. The First Golden Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life as a Senator's wife is not all wine and roses, but it has its moments. Thrawn and Palpatine are on the upswing and Thrawn's expecting a surprise. Not even the threat of Darth Sidious' scrutiny can shade his happiness, but a shadow lurks on the horizon because it raises the question in Luke's mind: If Thrawn was pregnant, then where's the baby?

Luke came down to get Thrawn before the duel. He was holding the glass figure of the sleeping infant in his hands and was staring through the wall it seemed. “Thrawn, are you ready?”  
Thrawn shook his head. “No one is ever as ready as they’d like to be before a battle.” His breakfast was untouched in front of him.  
Luke sighed. “You should eat something.”  
Thrawn shook his head again. “Food makes me slow and sleepy. I need to be on the alert.”  
Luke looked down at the figurine. “That’s not just an ordinary keepsake, is it?”  
“No, it is not.” Thrawn placed the figure back on a pile of clothes inside the Hope Chest. “It is very special, indeed.”  
Luke looked at it. “What is it?”  
Thrawn gave him a miserable glance. “If you cannot figure that out for yourself, Master Skywalker, you have no hope of gaining the insight required to lead the Jedi Order.”

Luke and Thrawn came out to the decided place where the Noghri delegation and their champion were waiting and Luke noted that it was very bright. “Can you see well?”  
“Yes, my eyes will adjust soon.” Thrawn blinked several times and soon he turned his usual stare on Luke. “Do you have my knife?”  
Luke took out the sheath and offered Thrawn the hilt of the slightly curved and wickedly sharp blade. Thrawn nodded his thanks and took the sheath.  
Luke stood back behind the chalked ring on the floor and nodded to Leia and Han as they came up from the Temple.  
Han came up beside Luke. “This is crazy. Do you see the champion they’ve chosen? Thrawn will be diced into tiny little pieces!”  
Luke watched as the bristling Noghri champion came forward. He didn’t stand tall and calm like Thrawn, but he looked menacing and very mean. “There’s nothing I can do anymore, Han. Let’s just trust our resident Grand Admiral.”  
“I still say that it’s nuts,” Han muttered and retreated back a few feet.  
Thrawn and the Noghri champion stared each other down for several minutes. Though the Noghri made fierce motions and growled, Thrawn never moved nor showed anything of what he was thinking.  
Luke held his breath as he sensed the Noghri’s first move, a quick dashing charge with a series of slashes that should have eviscerated the Chiss, had the Chiss been there. Thrawn had leapt straight over the Noghri’s charge and stomped on its flat head as he spun over and landed facing the Noghri on the opposite side of the ring.   
The Noghri turned in bewilderment and saw Thrawn bouncing up and down on his toes. This time, he tried an aerial attack and leapt straight up to spin towards Thrawn’s head and vulnerable throat, but again the Chiss was not there. Thrawn had dived to the ground and somersaulted back to his original position.  
Luke gasped in relief as Thrawn’s own knife came up, but the cut he inflicted was superficial and the Noghri brushed it off as if it was the sting of a fly. Still, he was more cautious in his attacks and there were many close shaves as Thrawn continued his strategy of evasion and counterattack.  
Luke had to restrain himself several times as the duel went on. No matter how unjust this was, no matter how badly matched, he had to stay still.  
Finally, it became obvious that Thrawn could not keep up his strategy. As he rolled away from a stab, the Noghri’s claws raked across his back and left five long red stripes in the white uniform. Now both Chiss and Noghri were cut and bleeding. Thrawn had landed many more superficial cuts during their deadly dance, but these tiny cuts could not save him. Luke knew that. The transformation that Luke had pushed him to undergo had weakened him too badly. He struggled to his knee and held the knife in his two hands. With a desperate expression, he could only watch as the Noghri rushed forward, and then he threw.  
Luke held his breath as the knife sliced into the Noghri’s shoulder and the Noghri fell to the ground, writhing. The spasms lasted just long enough for Thrawn to stumble to his feet and retrieve his knife.  
Then, the Noghri was back up and apparently he had a second wind in him. “So, you know of the weaknesses of a Noghri’s nervous system. Very well, I have recovered. What is your plan now, Grand Admiral Thrawn?”  
Thrawn shook his head. “Leave taunts to those who know how to use them.” Then, he moved with a shocking speed. At that instant, Luke could see the pure brilliance of Thrawn’s strategy. He had lured the Noghri into false security by allowing him to land a potentially damaging blow and through his use of their weaknesses to make the Noghri believe that his grand plan was to paralyze him.   
Oh, boy. Was that ever wrong.  
Thrawn was a dynamo. Forget good or excellent, his form with the blade was superb, his use of the Noghri’s own skill to blind the alien to his blows and seemingly random pattern of attack was inspired, and his showmanship divine. For what seemed forever, the blue humanoid kept the Noghri in the center of the ring and added onto his collection of superficial cuts. At the end, he stepped back from a barely recognizable still-living mess and withdrew from the ring. He had not only won, he had completely decimated the Noghri champion.  
Thrawn’s scratches were shallow and only looked serious. When water and bacta were applied, they closed without leaving a scar.  
Luke stood beside Thrawn’s bed in the infirmary. “That was an amazing martial arts demonstration. I would ask you to teach a class, but according to official record, we’re still enemies.”  
Thrawn laughed softly. “I have been a student of martial arts all my life except for my brief stint as the bride of the Chancellor.”  
“Speaking of when you were the bride of the Chancellor…”  
“Ah, yes. I believe I am strong enough for that. Now, Convergence was a beautiful manor, but it was truly most interesting when there was work to do…”

The tart cherries were the first fruits to ripen while Thrawn was there. For several days, he and Palpatine stripped the five trees that grew in the walled boundaries of the manor.  
“All of the trees, bushes, and vines that grow within the walls are a sampling of what Convergence actually produces. There are five of each tree, one of each vine, and ten of each bush,” Palpatine gestured over the courtyard from a position in the fork of one of the tart cherry trees.   
Thrawn held onto Palpatine’s neck and anchored himself on Palpatine’s lap. “What are all of them?”  
“Well, those are apricots, I don’t like them much and we’ve missed them this year because we didn’t immediately leave as soon as the Senate was allowed out of session. My steward will have harvested them.”  
“Your steward?”  
“Yes, he oversees all of the work in the fields and selling the produce in addition to keeping up the manor garden when I’m not here. Then those are peach trees, you can see that they’re almost ripe they need about another two months, but those are sweet cherries, and they need to be picked in a few days. Then we’ll have to leave before the apples are ripe, but we might see a few of the earliest grapes. Then all the berries should ripen before we leave.”  
“What do you do with all this fruit?”  
“I give away the sweet cherries to my friends in Theed mostly, but the rest of the fruits I save for my own uses or for gifts later in the year by freezing them.” Palpatine got a far away look in his eyes. “My mother used to jam and jelly as well, and she baked the best pies. My CB-109 doesn’t have her touch.”  
“I’ve never really cooked much for myself, but I could learn if there was a recipe.” Thrawn wiggled. “Can we get down? I think I’m slipping.”  
Palpatine released his grip on the tree and slid down so that Thrawn could put his feet on the ground. “Certainly. And I believe that my mother wrote all of her recipes down on flimsi somewhere.”  
Palpatine hopped down to the ground and stretched. “Geez, did my back always hurt this much? Oh, well. Getting older I suppose.”  
Thrawn laughed softly. “You’re still very fit for a man of your age.”  
“I have to keep up with my exercise. My doctor says I shouldn’t, apparently I have a history of problems with the old ticker, but what does that old quack know about it?”  
Thrawn blinked several times before he had entirely decoded what Palpatine was saying. “You have heart problems?”  
“No, not me. My family history has heart problems.” Palpatine shrugged. “I’ve never done anything that my doctor recommended anyway, I’m not about to start now.”  
Thrawn gave him a look. “Surely there’s something.”  
“No, can you believe he wanted to open up my hips and pelvic bones and tinker once. Ha! I went to see a chiropractor and he had me straightened out in no time!”  
Thrawn sighed and took Palpatine’s hand. “I suppose I will have to live with that.”  
“Oh, yes, but you always knew I was bold.”

Thrawn did indeed find a recipe book from Palpatine’s mother in the kitchen. “I think I found it, but I can’t read her writing.”  
Palpatine took the book. “No wonder. It’s in old Nubian. I can translate the recipes if you like.”  
“Would you? That would be wonderful.” Thrawn leaned over the book. “Can you teach me to read and speak it as well?”  
Palpatine nodded. “Certainly, I was going to suggest that you pick up some at least. It is traditional for every member of a great house to understand Nubian to some extent.”

Thrawn and Palpatine spent their days either picking fruits or processing them, and their evenings on a love seat huddled together over books of ancient Nubian and speaking to each other in that language.  
Palpatine translated the jelly recipes and pie recipes first. Thrawn was most interested in these. While pie was easy to Thrawn and his baked creations never lasted more than two days after they were cut so the “mice” must approve, the jelly threw him several loops.  
“I can never tell when to pull the juice and pectin off of the heat,” he complained to Palpatine in bed one night.  
Palpatine was writing with a gold pen in the red journal that Thrawn had given him. “My mother never wrote that down. I don’t think she knew how to describe it exactly. Let’s just continue the trial and error method.” Palpatine capped the pen and laid the journal aside. Sliding back in the bed, he switched off the lamp beside him.  
Thrawn rolled over and buried his pale face in Palpatine’s neck. “If I lose another batch of jelly, I might give up.”  
Palpatine placed one hand to tenderly cup the back of Thrawn’s neck. “Never give up, Thrawn. Never give up.”

During the time to pick peaches, which was high summer, Thrawn stayed inside most of the time. His feminine form’s pale skin was prone to painful sunburn.  
Palpatine left the large double doors to the kitchen open so that Thrawn could see him among trees and bushes while the noontime sun beat down. In the afternoon and early morning, Thrawn would also come out and fill baskets with berries and fruits, but as soon as the sun began to beat down, he went into the kitchen and began to work on preserving. While Thrawn had not mastered cherry jelly, he knew how to make peach and berry jam and how to can whole fruits.  
So, they both worked. Palpatine in the lofty bows of the trees, and Thrawn in the cool confines of the kitchen. It was not that they were unrelaxed; it was simply that work such as this was their method of relaxation.

Thrawn had learned how to read Nubian in a short time, but speaking it eluded him. There was no thought to giving up, though. Palpatine would not allow it.  
So the lessons continued and words stumbled out of Thrawn’s lips until he could speak Nubian with only a little more difficulty than Palpatine.

Thrawn noticed a nest of small birds in one of the cherry trees and Palpatine identified them for him. “Weebs, they have canary yellow feathers and the males have a few spots of turquoise on their feathers. These baby chicks will be putting out colored feathers soon from the look of it.”  
Thrawn kept an eye on the nest from his vantage in a second floor window. The Weebs were a seed eating bird, and the babies were already taking whole millet from the bird feeder he noted. Soon, they would fly.  
Then, disaster in the form of a snake struck. Thrawn had seen the serpent sliding up the tree trunk and had been rushing out, only to find that it was too late. The snake had eaten the female Weeb and all but one baby chick.  
Thrawn grabbed the snake and tossed it against a wall. Having noticed the commotion, Palpatine came rushing up from his position beneath an arbor weeding a flower bed. “What is it?”  
“A snake got into the nest and ate all of the baby Weebs except this one!” Thrawn heatedly told Palpatine as he cupped the little bird.  
Palpatine took the Weeb in his own hands. “He’s such a little thing, but they were eating solid seed, let’s take him inside and see if he can live in my Mother’s old birdcage.”  
Thrawn made a nest for the baby bird out of tissue paper and put a dish of water and seed in it. “Do you think he’ll live?”  
“No reason he shouldn’t as far as I know.” Palpatine stroked the little bird’s back with his fingertips. “Let’s leave him alone.”

Palpatine played the piano in the evenings after the lessons. His hands flowed across the keys as freely as water. On one warm, sleepy evening, he took Thrawn’s hands and led him over to the piano. “Do you have any experience with music?”  
“Not with playing.”  
“Well, I will have to teach you then.” So Palpatine took Thrawn and guided him down to the bench. “This key is middle C; it represents the center of the piano and the place where the music staff is divided…” Palpatine walked Thrawn through the musical alphabet and showed him how to read music. Over the course of several evenings, Thrawn picked up all of the basics and even a few bars of several simple melodies. When Palpatine played, however, Thrawn felt that he would never reach his husband’s level of mastery.  
Palpatine took Thrawn’s hands under his own and moved the fingers in time to a complex tune. “You react rather well to my stealing your shadow.”  
“I trust you.”  
“That’s always a good thing.” Palpatine leaned forward and kissed Thrawn’s hair.  
The Weeb broke into a song from its cage. Palpatine and Thrawn listened to it for a long time. “He’s almost fully grown.”  
“I know.” Palpatine sighed. “Eventually, we will have to let him go.”  
Thrawn nodded, but did not entirely agree. He had become attached to the Weeb.

The Senate was called back into session before the apples ripened, but true to Palpatine’s word, some of the earliest grapes were ripe. Thrawn had managed to figure out the process of cherry jelly and had made two batches as well as three cherry and three peach pies for the trip and to last while he and Palpatine settled into Palpatine’s apartment in 500 Republica.  
Thrawn tried to release the now full-grown Weeb, but the little bird would not leave him alone and became panicked after Thrawn closed the cage.  
Palpatine laughed as Thrawn held up the Weeb. “He won’t go.”  
“Why not? He’s a wild bird.”  
“No, not anymore. He thinks he’s your pet and you’ll never get rid of him. Let him in the cage and we’ll bring him along.”  
So Vermeer became a permanent part of Palpatine and Thrawn’s family.

The first days in the capitol were hectic. Palpatine was gone most of the day and he was having just as much trouble with the Ishori and Diamala as always.  
Thrawn had it easier. He was invited to tea by a few influential senator’s wives and otherwise exercised and practiced his piano while he waited for Palpatine to come home.

The visitation from Kinman Doriana was not entirely surprising. “Hello Commander Thrawn.”  
Thrawn sighed. “Doriana. Come in.”  
Kinman cut to the chase. “Lord Sidious wants to speak with you.”  
“No, Kinman. I will not consider a deal. The Chancellor is my husband.”  
“It is not about information concerning the Chancellor. He merely wants to check up on you. You did disappear out of the range of any of his spies.”  
Thrawn shook his head again. “I will not, Kinman. I cannot offer my loyalty to more than one thing at a time, and I love Palpatine.”  
Kinman sighed. “I warned him that you had become very attached to the Chancellor and he to you, but he does not always heed my warnings.”  
Thrawn nodded. “Please, do not speak to me or my husband of my past life. I was exiled and I have remade myself in my own fashion. Allow me to live my life as I will now.”  
Kinman stood. “I will communicate your desires to Lord Sidious. I cannot promise that he will act on them, but I will do my best to convince him to leave you in peace with your own decision.”  
Thrawn bade him good-bye and watched him go. There was nothing else to be said.

It was Palpatine who first noticed Thrawn’s increasing appetite. “Do you eat lunch anymore, Thrawn? That’s your second slice of pie, and you already had three helpings of the shaak divan.”  
Thrawn blushed and swallowed. “I’m hungry for some reason.”  
Palpatine patted his hand. “No, I’m not mad or scolding. I was just asking.”  
Thrawn took another bite. “I haven’t skipped any meals, I’m just hungry.”  
Palpatine sipped his wine. “I understand.”

Then came a slight weight gain. “I can’t believe it! I exercise every day, but somehow I’ve put on a whole two pounds!” Thrawn glared at the scale.  
“Good. You’re putting some meat on your bones.” Palpatine unconcernedly continued grooming.  
“Palpatine,” Thrawn exasperatedly pointed out, “if I’m gaining weight, I’ll be fat before I know it.”  
Palpatine combed his hair back and pressed a kiss to Thrawn’s cheek. “And I’ll still love you, but if it really worries you, make an appointment with a doctor.”

Thrawn made an appointment with the doctor the next week. The news he received was joyous and not entirely shocking.  
Palpatine came home to a special meal waiting. Thrawn had worked all afternoon in the kitchen on onion soup, stew, and an ice cream cake made with peaches. “Wow, Thrawn. What’s the occasion?”  
Thrawn smiled. “Let’s eat and then we’ll talk.”  
Palpatine ate hungrily. “I missed lunch, there was a bit of an emergency concerning Ryloth and several pirate gangs. I’ve been in meetings all day.”  
Thrawn smiled sympathetically. “No wonder you looked so haggard. Is Count Dooku still a problem?”  
“I’ve arranged for him to come to Coruscant along with several of his party leaders in a few months. I hoped that we could host him here for dinner one night and maybe we could come to some agreement during his stay. A good meal that has been prepared by hand would appeal to him I believe.”  
“Of course, I’ll cook myself,” Thrawn smiled. “I wonder if the count likes peaches.”  
“I wouldn’t know, but I think that he appreciates hard work and effort more than any specific food.” Palpatine wiped his mouth with a napkin and grinned at Thrawn. “Anyway, any man who doesn’t love your cooking isn’t worth anyone’s time.”  
Thrawn smiled at his plate and did not reply.

Palpatine sat down beside Thrawn in their living room. “Now, Thrawn. You’re just dying to tell me something.”  
Thrawn smiled. “I went to the doctor’s office and had my appointment today.”  
“Hmm? What did the old quack say?”  
Thrawn guided one of Palpatine’s hand to his abdomen. “Oh, not much.”  
Palpatine looked confused for about ten seconds, then his face broke into a beaming smile. “You mean… you’re in the family way?”  
“Yes, Palpatine. I’m pregnant.”  
Palpatine tossed his head back and screamed with overjoyed laughter.

“…things seemed so hopeful then. We were so very much in love with each other that neither of us could remember what it had been like to live without one another.” Thrawn sighed deeply. “If I could turn back time…”  
Luke nodded sympathetically. “So that’s how you found your bird.”  
“The few years we had before the Clone Wars broke out were almost magical times.”  
Luke seemed to realize something. “Thrawn, what happened to your baby? Did Sidious kill it?”  
Thrawn bit his lips and his eyes filled with an ocean of pain. “I do not want to speak of it now. Perhaps tomorrow I will come to that part, but not tonight.”  
Luke left Thrawn in the chair and went on to his bed. An uneasy feeling that he knew what was in store next began in the pit of his stomach.


	5. The Reason for Sorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A miscarriage is a painful, gut-wrenching experience. Made worse by the fact that neither Palpatine nor Thrawn has truly faced their grief, the recollections are tearing into Thrawn's heart.

Thrawn was his usual self in a few days after the duel. Perhaps he was a little more vigorous in his exercising, but he had lost quite a bit of muscle mass to the ravages of a hurried transformation from one state to another and it was probably to be expected.  
Luke found himself trotting back down to the detention area on a lazy afternoon when he had a few precious moments of peace.  
Thrawn was reading a well-worn book. With a touch of self-reproval, Luke thought that he should have brought something new for the Grand Admiral by then.  
Thrawn glanced over at Luke. “Master Skywalker, welcome. How have you been?”  
“Very well, Thrawn. Thank you.” Luke’s eyes fell on the glass figure of the infant on the table beside Thrawn. “There it is again.”  
Thrawn put a protective hand over the figure. “Yes. It is precious to me.”  
Luke settled down into a chair. “I know. Did you keep it out when you were Palpatine’s wife as well?”  
“No, never.”  
Luke reached out for the figurine. After a moment’s hesitation, Thrawn handed it to him. It was unchanged since Luke had last seen it and seemed quite ordinary. Simply a glass casket with ashes inside, but the burden of sorrow and pain that it carried was quite beyond Luke’s ken to understand.  
Thrawn folded his blue hands in his lap and began again. “My pregnancy did not seem difficult…”

Thrawn carried well, at least that was what Palpatine said. “When my mother had her last pregnancy, she never stopped complaining.” Palpatine sat down in an armchair and watched as Thrawn cut the pattern for a baby gown from white cotton.  
“I don’t feel the need to complain. If I so much as move, you’re all over me.” Thrawn smiled at Palpatine. “Has Senator Amidala responded to our message yet?”  
“No, Thrawn. We only sent it a few hours ago.”  
Thrawn looked up at the clock. “Oh, it feels like a longer time.”  
“A baby shower is quite an event on Coruscant. Padme knows much about setting one up and how to plan. She did the same for her sister when she was pregnant.”  
Thrawn gathered up a tuck and sowed a trio of beads into it. “I hope so. I know little about such things. Chitauri do not generally celebrate in great measure.”  
Palpatine stroked Thrawn’s growing hair. “Well, we Naboo celebrate everything and in the grandest fashion possible.”  
Thrawn smiled softly. Yes, the Naboo loved their celebrations.  
Palpatine checked his pocket watch and took the diffuser out of the silver teapot. “Tea? Hot and fresh.”  
“Yes, please.”  
“Cream? Sugar?” Palpatine asked automatically, even though he knew the answer.  
“No, thank you.” Thrawn accepted a cup of tea and sipped on it. “I love this tea the most. What kind is it?”  
“Jasmine Green Tea Pearls, not my personal favorite, but I’m glad you like it.”

Palpatine came home with a box of tea under his arm the next evening. Handing it to Thrawn, he looked at a set of bows that Thrawn was tying for trimming his baby clothes. “Why do you only use two-looped bows?”  
“I can’t tie any other kind,” Thrawn examined the sandy gold package and the six-looped bow tied around it.  
“I can teach you to tie a six-looped one. See? It’s easy.” Palpatine sat down and tied a set of tiny, six-looped bows.  
Thrawn smiled as he examined them. “They are beautiful. Can you make about two dozen more?”  
“Certainly, love.” Palpatine started work immediately. “How are you?”  
Thrawn patted his abdomen. “We’re fine. She’s been sleeping.”  
Palpatine rested one soft hand on Thrawn’s belly. “How can you tell?”  
“She doesn’t move when she sleeps.”  
Enviously, Palpatine sat back in his chair. “I’m jealous.”  
Thrawn laughed softly. “You won’t be when I have aches and pains all over and my feet and face swell up like balloons.”  
Palpatine shook his head. “I’m still jealous.”

Padme Amidala came into Thrawn’s drawing room being led by Aza. “Is it true?” she gushed. “Are you really having a baby?”  
Thrawn raised a brow at her. “Either that or I am very much mistaken.”  
Padme was very excited still, but contained herself. “Do you need anything before we start?”  
“Oh, no. I have a freshly brewed pot of tea and some of Palpatine’s favorite butter crackers right here.” Thrawn patted the side table. “Will you have a cup?”  
“Oh, not right now. Tea makes me excited.”  
More excited? Thrawn wondered, but decided it would be rude to ask. “Do you have any ideas for the celebration?”  
“Well, traditionally, baby showers are thrown during the earliest weeks of the seventh month of pregnancy.”  
“That sounds fine. I won’t have to do much more than sit, will I?”  
“No, you could even sit in that exact chair depending. Or would you like to have it at a park or an outside venue?”  
“No, home should be fine.” Thrawn thought for a moment. “Though I have heard that the Coruscant Rose Garden is lovely.”  
“Yes, it is. I’ve been five times and I’ve never been disappointed. When is the baby due?”  
Thrawn counted off the months. “Summer, Auresh around the second week. Palpatine and I intend for her to be delivered at Convergence.”  
“Then the roses should just be beginning to bloom. Not as full and colorful as they could be, but still beautiful.” Padme picked up her bag. “I brought some catalogs to look at for party supplies and other things.” Suddenly she froze. “’She’ you decided to spoil the surprise?”  
Thrawn patted his abdomen. “I couldn’t stand not knowing.”  
“What will her name be?”  
“Either Angeline Evangeline, or Fleur Rosenthorn.” Thrawn smiled. “Palpatine said that they were family names for firstborn daughters.”  
Padme nodded. “Like my older sister, Sola.”  
“They don’t sound very Nubian though.”  
Palpatine came in just then. “Did I forget to tell you? House Palpatine came from Coruscant and moved to Naboo later.” He came up behind Thrawn’s chair and pressed a kiss to his blue-black head.  
“Palpatine! You’re home early!” Thrawn smiled and patted the chair next to him.  
“I complained of a headache to get away from the Ishori senator. There is no way I’m going out to tea with him and his aides.” Palpatine dropped into the chair. “So, have you ladies decided on a venue? Or were you going to work on decorations first?”  
Thrawn showed Palpatine a brochure for the Coruscant Rose Garden. “I like this.”  
Palpatine nodded. “I’ve been to the Rose Garden. The first time was on accident, but I’ve been several more times. It’s not quite Naboo, but it will do in a pinch.”  
Thrawn bewilderedly glanced at Palpatine. “How can you visit a garden on accident?”  
“You can duck into the nearest building and make a run for the most crowded place to avoid a certain Gran senator who is constantly pestering you over a Senate Bill.”  
Thrawn shot his husband a scolding look. “You need to stop avoiding the people you don’t care for.”  
“I’m not avoiding them, I’m… seizing the moment to broaden my horizons elsewhere.”  
Thrawn and Padme laughed and Palpatine shook a finger at them. “But the fact that I choose to broaden my horizons at such convenient times is our little secret.”

Thrawn and Padme did most of the picking and choosing. Palpatine set up a respectful distance between himself and the ladies. When they asked him a question though, he truly gave it his whole attention.  
“I like the blue lace-pattern on the rose napkins.” Thrawn showed the picture to Palpatine. “Or do you think we should go with the rose theme?”  
Palpatine compared the napkins. “If we had the blue-lace patterns and these pink roses on blue backgrounds, the napkins could offer a point of relief for the eye.”  
Padme and Thrawn discussed it. “If we matched the napkins to the cups and had the plates and tablecloths matched too, it would be even better.”

Eventually, Palpatine pointed out that it was time for supper and Thrawn closed his catalog. “What would you like to eat?”  
“Take-out,” Palpatine listened as the door opened and closed. “Aza and his father just went to go get the dinner I ordered a bit ago.”  
“I didn’t see you order anything.”  
“You and Senator Amidala were too busy discussing whether the periwinkle or the azure blues would look best with your lavender muslin maternity gown.” Palpatine grinned. “How is that anyway?”  
“Almost finished, I have to add a last few touches, but I could wear it even now.”  
Palpatine shook his head. “It beats me that you would want to sew your own clothes. It must take an incredible amount of time.”  
“The longer the better! You have no idea how boring it is to be a Chancellor’s wife!” Thrawn grimaced. “I’m lucky if some of the other Senate wives invite me to tea, and they don’t know how to discuss anything but politics and the latest hit thing. Politics! I’m sick of politics!”  
Palpatine laughed. “Thank God that you married me and not a politics crazy Senator who doesn’t have a life outside of the rotunda.” Thrawn noticed that Padme stiffened in her seat across from him.  
“Chancellor, I do believe I have to go home. Thrawn and I have decided on practically everything, and I have some work to do.”  
Thrawn watched her go. “I think you hurt her feelings.”  
Palpatine sighed. “How do I stand in front of an audience of millions and receive standing ovations and yet sit in front of two women and offend half of them?”  
Thrawn gathered up the catalogs. “Does Padme have a life outside of politics?”  
Palpatine hesitated. “No, she doesn’t. For Padme, there is nothing more desirable than duty.” He straightened up. “She is to be pitied.”  
Thrawn nodded slowly. “Yes…”

The tragedy struck when least expected. It was the eve of the baby shower and Thrawn had been busily putting the final touch on a cushion with the words “Welcome Little Stranger” on it. When he stood to put the pillow on the mantle, he staggered back and the pillow dropped from his hand.  
Thrawn sweated and screamed where he had fallen onto the sofa. “Palpatine! Call the hospital! The baby’s coming and it’s not time!”  
Palpatine moved with admirable vigor. “Aza! Bring the sky-car around! Renaldo! Call Cour-Sec and get a police escort!” Gathering his wife up, he whistled for the Red Guard to come along.   
The Red Guard did an excellent job of pushing aside anyone in the hall and clearing obstacles on the way to the turbolift. Unfortunately, Thrawn was pretty much out of it by that time. How in the world can something supposedly natural hurt so much?  
Thrawn was a priority one at the hospital by the time that Renaldo and Cour-Sec screamed to a stop in front of the Emergency bay. “Code Blue!” a doctor bellowed at some nurses.  
“Palpatine, Code Blue is bad, right?” Thrawn moaned. “It means someone is going to die, doesn’t it?”  
Palpatine grabbed one of his hands and rubbed it as Thrawn was lifted onto a gurney. “You’re going to be fine, Thrawn. You’re going to be fine.”  
Thrawn groaned as the gurney was jostled down the hallway and he began to curve around himself, “Don’t leave me.”  
Palpatine ran beside the gurney, “I’m staying right here. Don’t worry.”  
Thrawn’s eyes blurred and their red color drained out of them to a sickly yellow. “I can’t see. Where are we going?”  
“We’re in an operating room. You need to straighten out for the doctors to begin work. Please, straighten come on, darling.” Palpatine moved further up near Thrawn’s face as a sterile shield was set up.  
Thrawn felt a series of pricks on his abdomen. “What was that?”  
“Pain-killers. Stay with me, Thrawn. They’re going to do a Cesarean section.”  
“No,” Thrawn struggled to get up. “No, they can’t. She can’t live outside.”  
“Thrawn, stay down. If this isn’t done, I lose both of you. Don’t make me lose both of you, please.”  
Thrawn stilled and wept bitterly as he lost feeling in his flesh.  
Thirty minutes after the operation began, Thrawn was handed a tiny, malformed bundle by a nurse. Immediately seized by two conflicting emotions, Thrawn felt revulsion and attraction at the same time. He was revolted by popping, bugging eyes, but he wanted to kiss them. He saw bony, twisted limbs, but he wanted to hold them to his bosom. He saw the discolored, greenish skin, but he wanted to caress it. Weeping, Thrawn placed a shaking hand on her head and closed the dark eyes. “Angeline.”  
“Angeline Evangeline Palpatine.” Palpatine pressed his lips to Thrawn’s head. “I am so, so sorry.”  
Thrawn kept his eyes on his daughter. “Take me home,” he whispered, barely audible.  
Palpatine conferred with a doctor while bacta patches were applied to Thrawn’s gaping womb. Out of the physician's sight and perhaps out of his busy mind, the feminine organs healed with the practically miraculous liquid. Thrawn was unaware of the damage done to his own body. The only thing that he cared about was the damage done to the tiny bundle in his arms.   
Palpatine convinced the doctor to allow him to take his wife home and Thrawn was laid in his bed. With a contrary stubbornness, he refused to allow anyone to touch the dead child in his arms.  
Palpatine stayed in a chair beside Thrawn well into the night. “It wasn’t your fault, you know. The doctors said that there was some kind of infection. Nothing that could have been prevented by you.”  
Thrawn nodded. “It doesn’t change anything. I’m here, but our child is dead.”  
Palpatine reached out for Thrawn and put his arms around him, bloody infant and all. “No, it does change something. There is hope for the future in every breath in a man or woman. We can have another, and more after that.”  
Thrawn sighed. “I don’t want another, I want her.”  
Palpatine sighed deeply. “I know. I know.”

The next morning Thrawn had relinquished her hold on Evangeline and Palpatine had taken her to a mortician. When he came back in the afternoon, he was carrying a light blue statuette made of glass with a core of grey ashes. Placing the figurine into Thrawn’s hands, he whispered, “I chose this for her. What would you want to do?”  
Thrawn picked up a baby blanket from his sewing basket beside the bed and a needle. Stitching the blanket into a small bag, he put the figurine inside and handed it to Palpatine. “Put her in my Hope Chest, and all her little baby clothes as well.”  
Palpatine gathered up all the little accoutrements associated with newborn children and got rid of them. By the end of the day, the only thing left to mark the babe’s passage was Thrawn’s broken heart.

Luke sat in silence while Thrawn stared off into space. He was holding the statuette in his hands and stroking its head.  
“Palpatine didn’t believe in coming face-to-face with grief. He always did his best to forget, to reduce the grieving to a set of facts on the page of a history text.”  
“It’s not a very honest way to live with oneself.”  
Thrawn fixed Luke with a serious expression. “Luke, without the steps my husband took, I am sure that I would have maddened myself with grief. After a time, I had come to terms with my loss to the point that I could brook mention of having another, but it was not to be.”  
Luke thought over the implications of his statement. “You were barren.”  
Thrawn dropped his eyes. “Yes, I was barren.”


	6. The Love of Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exeunt Palpatine. Enter Sidious. The curtain falls on the once-promising love of two souls. Thrawn is ill and Luke is worried. If the most ingenious Admiral in the Fleet wants to end his life, he will do it. How will he find anything to live for?

Luke didn’t like the changes he was seeing in Thrawn. After he had finally revealed the circumstances of his miscarriage and subsequent entombing of his child in the glass urn, he had started going into a decline which seemed to slightly resemble conventional phases of grief, but also affected his body. For the most part, the changes were superficial and non-threatening: His hair lost its gloss and his eyes took on a slight orange tinge, but he also became easily surprised and more likely to fall into lapses of brooding.  
“Are you all right?” Luke asked.  
“What?” Thrawn looked up from his teacup.  
“You spaced out again. It’s happening more often lately. Are you all right?”  
“Oh, that. Yes, I’m fine. Just fine.” Promptly after he had said this, Thrawn returned to his spacing.  
“Hey, snap out of it. You’re scaring me.”  
Thrawn jumped and put down his teacup. “Sorry.”  
“Perhaps if you continued on with your story, it would help.”  
“Perhaps. All right. There’s very little left to tell. Soon after my mis- my loss, the Clone Wars broke out, but nothing really happened. Courasant was so isolated and protected that nothing ever happened to us. The only real time that things began to become exciting was quite near the end, when it happened…

Thrawn was woken in the night by rough hands. “Get up. Keep silent.”   
Palpatine was also woken, and was being manhandled as well. There was a dark shape in a corner, one heavily cowled and short.  
Thrawn was gagged harshly and his nightgown was stripped off and handed to another figure. As this figure came out into the dim light, Thrawn tried to scream. The figure was a clone, a clone of himself. The clone put on the nightgown and lay down in the bed. One of the thugs, who was dragging Thrawn and Palpatine out, rigged an explosive to the bed frame and set a timer.

Thrawn woke in a small room. There was a set of clothes on a shelf, and he put them on. The room was only six by eight feet and the door was locked.  
Looking around, Thrawn saw a small beam of light and realized that there was a tiny window high up in the wall. He climbed up onto the cot and tried to peer through. To his amazement, he could reach the window, which led to his discovering that the cacao butter’s effects had worn off while he was asleep.  
The view was only of bright blue sky, and Thrawn could judge nothing. Disgusted, he climbed down and sat on the cot.

It might have been only a few minutes or it might have been hours before the guards came to take Thrawn to Palpatine.  
They were droid guards with plasma staves and body armor. Thrawn could do nothing against them, so he went calmly.  
Palpatine looked awful. There were obvious marks of torture on his body and he was leaning against his own cell wall. His cell was bright and cold. There wasn’t a single piece of it that did not reflect radiance into the occupant’s eyes and every surface was like ice.   
Palpatine’s eyes were purple-black and blood dripped from a split lip. There was an electric burn on his cheek and his posture as he slumped on the floor bespoke a beating.  
The guards shut the door behind Thrawn and he went to Palpatine's side. “Palpatine. Are you all right?”  
Palpatine looked with bewilderment at Thrawn. “Who are you? Where’s my wife?”  
Thrawn lifted Palpatine from where he had been thrown and set him gently on the cot. “I’m Thrawn, Palpatine. I’m your wife.”  
Palpatine looked closely at Thrawn. “Yes, I see the resemblance, but how…?”  
“A quirk of my species. I apologize for appearing in such a manner, but I have been denied the necessary chemicals to maintain myself.”  
Palpatine shook his head. His breathing was shallow and erratic. “No, it’s all right. I like how you look. You should have shown me this awhile ago. I don’t know how I feel about you being taller than me, though.”  
Thrawn smiled. “Is that your biggest worry?”  
“No, I think I have a broken rib. Can you help me…?” He put a hand on his side. “I haven’t been able to push it back into position.”  
Thrawn put his hand on the spot and guided the break together. “Are there any medical supplies here?”  
“None that we could access.”  
Thrawn noted a slight shiver in Palpatine’s frame. “You need to get warm. This constant chill can’t be good for you.”  
“I’ve tried. I can’t do anything for myself, and there aren’t any blankets.”  
Thrawn held his husband close to his chest. “Here, snuggle in and we might be able to share body heat.”  
Palpatine closed his heavy eyes in exhaustion and fell asleep. After a few moments, Thrawn felt himself becoming heavy with exhaustion and despair. What was to be done? How were they to get out of this mess?

Thrawn was woken by boots tramping on the floor. Lifting his head, he saw the same cowled figure that had been in their apartments.   
“Hello, Thrawn.” The man smirked.   
“How do you know my name?” Thrawn asked.  
“Oh, I know all about you. I’m Darth Sidious.”  
Thrawn recognized him then and leapt to stand between him and Palpatine. “You!”  
“Do you know him, Thrawn?” Palpatine kept his gaze steady on Sidious.  
“I… haven’t told you my whole story, Palpatine. I was afraid that you would stop loving me if you knew.”  
Palpatine shook his head and made a dismissive gesture. “We can talk later. In the meantime, get out of the way. I’m not afraid of my brother.”  
Thrawn jumped. “Your brother?”  
“You are not the only one with secrets, hein?”  
Sidious made a brushing movement and Thrawn was tossed out of the way. “Well, brother. Have you changed your mind? I still need that password.”  
Palpatine shook his head. “No, I can’t give it to you.”  
Sidious turned away. “You were always resilient.” He leapt around and directed jagged bolts of Force lightning, not at Palpatine but at Thrawn.  
Thrawn screamed and writhed on the floor. Dimly, he was aware of Palpatine yelling at Sidious to stop, but he couldn’t truly hear the desperate cries until Sidious did ease up on his attack.  
“There, brother dear, a new argument for you to mull over. Think on your wife’s pain, if you will not consider your own.”  
“You were always a coward, Sidious. You never could stand to fight like a man.”  
“And look what it has gotten me, brother. My elder twin at my mercy. Will I show any? That is for you to decide.”

Thrawn got up with difficulty and stumbled back to Palpatine’s side. “What did he do to me?”  
“Sith lightning. He intends to torture you to get to me.”  
“You won’t tell him anything, will you? No matter what happens, you won’t tell him anything.”  
Palpatine gave Thrawn a look of despair. “How can I let him hurt you?”

Sidious allowed them to stew for days before he made his next move. Waking them up in the middle of the night, he wrenched Thrawn away from Palpatine and tossed him against a wall.  
Thrawn didn’t remember anything but the screaming. He thought he might have broken, begged, and pleaded, but he couldn’t know.  
“Stop.” The word cut through the pain and fear in Thrawn’s head.  
Sidious held Thrawn against the wall and turned to look at Palpatine.  
“Stop. Please, have mercy.” Palpatine was begging. “Please…”  
“There is no mercy,” Sidious snarled and his assault renewed.  
“Stop. The password is Convergence. Please stop.”  
Sidious turned to Palpatine and allowed Thrawn to fall to the floor. “So, your weakness is revealed.”  
Palpatine had found his core again and he looked past Sidious to where Thrawn slumped against a wall. “I love you, Thrawn.”  
Sidious made a snatching motion and Palpatine lifted into the air. There was a sickening crunch and Palpatine’s ribcage turned inside out. All light left his blue eyes and he fell to the floor like an old rag-doll that a careless child has thrown aside.  
Thrawn gathered his strength and lunged at Sidious. “How could you?”  
Sidious moved aside and Thrawn landed facedown at his feet.   
Thrawn begged now with tears beginning in his eyes, “Kill me. Please, kill me.”  
Sidious looked down at him with disgust. “Why, when it would be so much more painful to leave you alive? Guards.”  
Thrawn’s last glimpse of Palpatine was of his wide, dead eyes as he was dragged away.

Over the next few days, Thrawn was determined to will himself to death. Sidious didn’t allow him near anything that could be a weapon and he had guards who would force him to eat and drink. The last thing he had was will.  
One day, when he felt that the release he craved was near, Thrawn sensed Palpatine’s presence. Not Sidious. Palpatine.  
Certain now that death was near, Thrawn smiled softly.   
Palpatine came closer until Thrawn could see his eyes. He reached out and placed his hands on Thrawn’s heart.  
“What are you doing?” Thrawn asked. He could feel his heartbeat speeding up, getting stronger. “Stop.”  
Palpatine gave Thrawn a sad look and continued to press against his chest. As Thrawn grew stronger, more alive, the vision of Palpatine grew weaker, more dead.  
Finally, Thrawn sat up and pushed Palpatine away. “Why?”  
Palpatine shook his head at Thrawn and stepped back until he melted into the shadows.

Thrawn came back to himself. “I joined Sidious’ Fleet to wreak my vengeance on him. I planned to gather power to myself so that I could strike him. So that I could destroy him as he destroyed me.” He stood. “I don’t know why I’m still alive. My mission is over.”  
Luke stood. “Are you all right?”  
“What kind of question is that? Am I all right? Would you be all right?” Thrawn moved to the wall and put his hand out to steady himself. “Leave me alone. I need… space.”

Luke left Thrawn to himself and gave orders to the guards to keep an eye on him. Specifically to prevent him from committing suicide.

Thrawn stood beside a window. He was looking at a reflection, but it was not his own.  
“Life is eternal: it goes on.”  
The elderly man speaking to him was in a philosophical mood. “We are not eternal, though. The last of life’s sun will fade away with time and then what? Our only permanence is the legacy we leave behind. Our children, our books, our deeds.”  
The next words had never been spoken in person. “You have a legacy. An inspiring one. If you choose death, you will tarnish that legacy. In time, you will have the release you crave, but that time is not now. If death is the only thing that can end your agony, then you should withdraw from the world until you can face it again. Pain dies with time and affection. Gather up anyone who loves you and try to keep them near. Gilad Pelleaon would walk across coals for you. Trust him to stand by you in your grief.”  
Thrawn nodded slowly. “Are you content?”  
“I am dead, Thrawn. You are basically talking to yourself. How should I know if I’m content?”  
Thrawn chuckled through fresh tears. “I know that.”  
“Then why did you ask?”  
“Because I miss you so much…” Thrawn watched him fade to grey. “Good-bye.”


End file.
